Normal Quotations

A ‘normal person’ is what is left after society has squeezed out all unconventional opinions and aspirations out of a human being.
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana –

But there is no obvious reason for holding that some normal adults are entitled to make choices for other normal adults, as paternalists of both left and right believe.
– Tom G. Palmer –

For every “Drive Safely” sign, shouldn’t there be a “Resume Normal Driving” sign?
– Robert Brault-

In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning.
– George Orwell –

It’s a pleasure to give advice, humiliating to need it, normal to ignore it.
– Charles E. McKenzie –

I’ve recently started a dating app for chickens. It’s not my normal day job,
it’s just to make hens meet.
– Author Unknown –

Normal sized babies are delivered by stork. Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
– Author Unknown –

Normal people… believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
– Scott Adams –

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family.
– Author Unknown –

The ghastly thing about postal strikes is that after they are over, the service returns to normal.
– Richard J. Needham –

The government in Egypt has asked the city’s taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot ‘n Calm ‘Em will last for the rest of the week.
– Author Unknown –

The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.
– Alfred Adler –

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
– P. J. O’Rourke –

What do you call just one, normal potato?
A Commontater.
– Author Unknown –

When you finally accept that it’s OK not to have answers and it’s OK not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be a human being.
– Winona Ryder –

You know what kind of person it takes to run for President? Not normal.
– David Baldacci –

gHosT the Dog – Woodworking

Update from gHosT the Dog…

somedays i am a shop dog i am into, woodworking as you can see i custom. craft small logs i debark and shape, i am like a planer and a sander and a drill all in one.  it is hard work all i ask in return, is some biscuits and peanut butter. and a walk preferably in the ditch not on the road and a clean. bowl of water with no. dead flies in it!!!

two-legs who i live with and two-legs car guy are doing. woodworking, too they are making wood boxes. with bows and ribbons. made of wood they use lots of tools but best. of all is all the sawdust. they make then i lie in it. and roll in it

two-legs who i live with named her wood things website. after me The Rustic Ghost. she isn’t selling. any of my sticks they are priceless. i think but also hard to find. when i am done i hide them or two-legs gamma puts them. in the chipper pile she thinks i don’t know she does that. but i know

two-legs gamma gives me a biscuit. after our walk in the ditch. she makes me lie down. and stay then she breaks the biscuit. into three or four pieces and hides them, around the shop then i look for them which. is hard because i didn’t see where she. put them and the biscuits don’t have any smell or maybe, they do smell but it is the same as sawdust which. is mostly what the whole shop, smells of.

if you want to see, the other things i’ve written or things that have been written. about me just go here gHosT Dog. i’m done this story so two-leg gamma will finish things up:

A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
– Robert Benchley –

Every snack you make,
Every meal you bake,
Every bite you take…
I’ll be watching you.
– Unknown Dog –

Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
– Author Unknown –

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
— Phil Pastoret –

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
— Joe Weinstein –

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx –

Goals and Life Lists Quotations

1. Going to bed early. 2 Not leaving my house. 3. Required Naps.
My childhood punishments are now my adult goals.
– Author Unknown –

Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
– doozylist.com –

Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart –

Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk.
– J.C. Penney –

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone’s expectations.
– Bill Watterson –

It’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the one you don’t.
– Stephen Kellogg –

My goal in 2022 is to accomplish the goals I set in 2021 which I should have done in 2020 because I made a promise in 2019 which I planned in 2018.
– Author Unknown –

My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.
– Author Unknown –

My weekend to do list is basically just a list of things I want to eat.
– abbyhasissues.com –

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
– Mark Twain –

Pink Panther’s To Do List:
– To Do
– To Do
– To Do, To Do, To Do, To Do, To Doooo dodododododo

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.
– Frank Zappa –

There was a time in my life, decades ago, when I was so full of energy that I was going to not only END WORLD HUNGER but also STOP WAR and ELIMINATE RACISM. Whereas today my life goals, to judge from the notes I leave myself, tend to be along the lines of BUY DETERGENT.
– Dave Barry –

This is the Week That Was: July 22, 2022

$200 and Change

The Car Guy informs me that it cost him just over $200 to put fuel in his truck this week. That’s the bad news. The good news is that he can  make about 80 trips to the lumber store before he has to refuel again.

Are You Listening… or Waiting to Talk?

It took my husband less than a minute to tell me about the cost of gasoline. It will take me over 20 minutes to write this post about gasoline (and other things), which is why I think this next visual is true!

I Like the Bunny Slippers

This was apparently taken at a branch of RBC Wealth Management – a subsidiary of the Royal Bank of Canada.

Dress like you own the bank. Not like you need a loan from it.
— Louis Raphael –

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
—Mark Twain –

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?
– Linda Ellerbee –

The Jumbo Jet

Do you know why the Boeing 747 (the Jumbo Jet) has that hump on the top? Apparently Boeing felt the 747 would be quickly rendered obsolete as a passenger carrier, so they designed the plane so that it could be converted into a freighter. A cockpit up in the hump would make the conversion easier.

This, and so many other interesting facts can be found in Bill Bryson’s book, ‘Made in America – An Informal History of the English Language in the United States’. Though it was written in 1994, many of Bryson’s observations about social and cultural change read like current events. His writing is, as usual, peppered with wry humour.

Until 1916, New Hampshire had a stream called the Quohquinapassakessamanagnog, but then the cheerless bureaucrats at the Board on Geographic Names in Washington, D.C., arbitrarily changed it to Beaver Creek.
― Bill Bryson, Made in America –

The Cone of Uncomfort

The Grand-dog, Ghost, had to have a lump removed from her leg. She was spared the ‘white plastic cone of misery’ because of the mental anguish it causes her. It renders her immobile – so while it stops the licking, it stops her from doing anything else too. She just stands there.

The vet put a flexible cone on but it was too small  –  it didn’t prevent Ghost from investigating her owie. Fortunately the bandage did the job.

Lights, Camera, Action!

Stop Motion LEGO

In this video, Japanese stop motion animation artist tomosteen uses LEGO to create an ‘Oreo Factory’.

Stop Motion Needle Felt Wool

Needle felting is a craft that involves repeatedly stabbing a needle into a piece of wool. This stiffens and shapes it into the desired form. The tip of the needle has small barbed notches that allow the fibers of the wool to be moved towards the center of the shape without being pulled back out when the needle is pulled out.

Andrea Love creates needle felted objects which she then animates in stop motion.

Here is one of my posts (with videos) about Stop Motion Clay Animation.

This is the Week that Was: July 15, 2022

Great Horned Owlet in April 2022

The Rescue Owl
In April I rescued a Great Horned Owlet that had fallen out of a nest that was in the Palm Tree in our front yard (see Great Horned Owlets in April.) We took the bird to the ‘Wild at Heart’ Bird rescue center in Cave Creek Arizona.

In early June the Director of Wild at Heart  sent us an update about our owlet.

Group Photo Great Horned Owlets

‘Our’ owl is one of the ones in this group photo. The birds will continue their stay at the Center throughout the summer. They will finish their live food training sessions and in late summer and throughout the fall they will be released into a suitable habitat.

So, do you think my owlet is the ‘tall’ curious one in the back row… or maybe the shy one huddled up against the owl next to it? For creatures that look so much alike, they do seem to have distinct personalities!

Social Media – the Information Gatekeepers

Being effective at social media, whether for business or personal use, means capturing people who have short attention spans. They’re only a click away from a picture of a funny cat, so you have to make your thing more compelling than that cat. And that can be a high bar.
— Alexis Ohanian –

There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.
― Ralph Waldo Emerson –

#Take Box

We call the Amazon Drivers ‘Andy’. They visit us quite frequently. The Car Guy has found that he can buy a lot of stuff for his work shop from Amazon. Their warehouse isn’t far from our place and they have items that the hardware stores have not had for some time now.

As quickly as Andy delivers things, other stuff is exiting our house. We are  in the ‘never ending’ downsizing mode. We are at that age where it is highly unlikely we will ever use many of the things that we often used 20 or 30 years ago!  When I saw the following idea,  I thought it sounded like a good one:

What Happens in the Bedroom…

Speaking of Beds, I recently saw this ‘Flower Bed’.

Do You Remember When?

Are you old enough to remember the Indian Head Test Pattern that was shown on your TV screen just after the channel had signed off for the day?

The test pattern was used to tune the brightness and contrast settings, either by broadcast engineers to make sure broadcasts were being sent correctly; or by TV owners or repair shop technicians to correct the image.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian-head_test_pattern#/media/File:Indian_Head_Test_Pattern_with_Labels.png

To Sum Things Up

The upside of Facebook, besides knowing what things your friends and family are doing that they don’t otherwise tell you about, are tidbits like this one (I couldn’t find the original source, which might have been clearer):

If you are of a certain age you will remember Jim Croce’s song, ‘Operator’:

Operator, oh, could you help me place this call?
See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded.

The hypothetical comments that might come from young people today – what is an ‘operator’ or a ‘matchbook’ – could explain why that person would think the song makes no sense!

That’s okay. The few times I’ve listened to the words of some new song, I didn’t understand all the references either!

Crochet Scrumble – Granny Is Not so Square Anymore

This Scrumble started with a Granny Square (a pattern that dates back to the late 1890’s). It was joined by a few ‘Snails’, some Flowers, the Sun, some Ocotpus Tentacles and some Ruffles.  For no particular reason, my inner Granny said ‘Enough’ and this Scrumble was done.

They call me grandma because partner in crime makes me sound like a bad influence.
– Author Unknown –

The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.
– Dave Barry –

Apparently this works on Ritz crackers too…

Tobey King’s ‘Bernie Sanders with mittens crochet doll’ was her version of the photo of United States Sen. Bernie Sanders as he sat in the bleachers on Capitol Hill at President Biden’s inauguration.

Acrylic Pouring – Smooshing in the Round

In the ‘too cheap to test new ideas on good canvas’ school of frugalness, I have been pouring paint on computer CD’s. There is no shortage of those, and music CD’s, in our house!

For my first attempt I prepped the CD by taping the centre hole closed (on the shiny side of the CD.) . Then I poured these Arteza Pouring Paints on the label side of the CD: Brilliant Red, Forest Green, Carnation Pink and Titanium White. (Forest Green is a deceiving name…)

‘Red Poppies” Arteza paint on a CD

After pouring, I laid a piece of parchment paper (you can use a wet paper towel or wet knapkin) over the paint, gently rubbed the surface (smooshing) then lifted the paper up from all four corners.

Smooshed Red Poppies on a ceramic tile.

Then I laid the painted parchment paper onto a white ceramic tile and then carefully lifting the paper off by the four corners.

“Iris” – Arteza Pouring Paints on a CD

On the second CD I poured these Arteza Pouring Paints: Phthalo Blue, Titanium White, Coral, Gold and Neon Purple.

“Iris” on a white art backing board.

I used the same ‘smooshing’ process and pressed the paper onto a white art backing board.

For the third CD, I wanted to eliminate the centre hole indentation. I taped the hole on the back side, then filled the indent on the front with wall plaster. When it was dry, I sanded it then applied two coats of gesso and sanded again.

For this pour I used these Arteza Pouring Paints: Cerise Pink, Titanium White, Coral; and Artist’s Loft Pouring Paint: Aqua Green. I used the same ‘smooshing’ technique.

When I smoosh, if I lift all four corners of the smooshing paper by the four corners, then the design will look different than if I peel the paper back from one side only or from two sides at once, etc.

If you can think of catchy names for any of these pours, please comment below!

My other pours are at this link: Acrylic Pour Paint

Revelio Invisibilis and Other Useful Spells

Recently I was surprised to find that my blog was invisible to the search engine I normally use – DuckDuckGo (DDG). It was also invisible to Bing. (I had typed my URL, amusives.wordpress.com, into the search box and neither search engine listed my blog in the results list.) Next I tried Google Search and my blog showed up on the top of the list. Strange, right!?

I discussed this with another WordPress blogger and he wondered if his blog (which was invisible too) had been ‘shadow banned‘ because he sometimes wrote posts that challenge the prevailing Global Warming narrative about Arctic Sea Ice. I couldn’t think of any reason why my blog would be made invisible.

I contacted a WordPress Happiness Engineer, Tiffany, who told me that WordPress has some ‘tools’ in place that ensure that WordPress posts are indexed by Google. (I’ve called these tools the Revelio invisibilis spell…) WordPress does not have these tools for any other search engines. Tiffany reminded me that there are things I can do to increase my visibility with all search engines. This includes blogging frequently, using appropriate tags and categories, leaving comments on other blogs, sharing posts on social media, etc.

So – if I perfect the spells for Postus Writeitselfus, Tagus Popularis, Categora Bestus, Commentor Briefus Witticarious or Socialus Followlinkus – I’ll share them with you.

Other Possible Spells, Charms and Chants:
If you know the AlbiAlbeAlbu spelling charm, let this person know:

Only two things I know about Albuquerque – Bugs Bunny should’ve taken a left turn there. And give me a hundred tries, I’ll never be able spell it.
– Jimmy McGill –

Is there a spell that will make every man sit to pee in a stall toilet?

This calls for an Unspendus spell.

A dry spring and heavy pollen. It has been an incredibly ‘yellow’ few weeks here. Fortunately it has started to rain. Unfortunately this much rain in such a short time will lead to flooding. We need a Rainis Notsomuchus Sofast spell.

If only there was a spell for this!

The only way to open those plastic bags is… scissors.

Tell Me Why!

Stephen Wright, the American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer asks:

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they’re all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Other People ask:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
– John Cleese –

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
– Will Rogers –

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
– Robin Williams –

Other People have Answers:

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.
– Winston Churchill –

Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
– Gilbert K. Chesterton –

I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
– Lily Tomlin –

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’
– Dave Barry –

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
– Ronald Reagan –

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
– Alan Dundes –

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
– George Carlin –

Do you have some ‘why’ questions like these? Do you have answers to any of these ‘Why’ Questions?