How to Go Hunting for Computer Viruses

You have just received the “Novice Hacker Virus”. As we ain’t got no programming experience, this virus works on the honour system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your cooperation.
– Source – Internet –

Wednesday wasn’t a real good day. I woke too early, couldn’t get back to sleep, and finally got up to begin a task that isn’t all that much fun – troubleshooting a problem with the computer. In this case, several computers, because I didn’t know which one had possibly been compromised by a Virus. Yes, I was going on a Malware hunt.  Let there be no confusion about my intent here. I was going to be armed, and I was prepared to kill.

But first I had to get dressed. I pondered what to wear for this distasteful job, and finally decided on the baggy look. Comfort first is my motto. And since I had exactly four delicious muffins to potentially eat, but I couldn’t predict how many muffins this job would take, I chose some baggy sweatpants. No point wearing something that wouldn’t expand to accommodate muffins.

I had no doubt I would be successful eventually, so I chose a T-shirt that expressed that. In fact, this T-shirt accurately depicts the full range of emotions that occurred during the day. From left to right:
– the ceremonial morning greeting of all in attendance (in this case the computer and whatever lurked in it);
– the eager pursuit of the prey;
– the mid-day panic when all the muffins were gone;
– and the expression of triumph when the task was completed.

By late afternoon (after multiple scans by multiple products on multiple computers) I was fairly confident that none of our computers had been infected by anything, and that the Norton Malware Software had not been breached. So I began the search for an answer as to why The Car Guy’s Yahoo Mail account had sent out invitations (to most of his contacts) to use Viagra or some such similar product. I eventually decided that because his contact list is stored on the Yahoo server, his account must have been hacked either through an external computer he had used, or perhaps from within Yahoo itself (if claims that this can happen are true.)

I know The Car Guy was upset that his contact list had been high jacked, but I felt that it was a bit ironic that the spam message that was sent out was a better match to the target audience than say Breast Implants or Gucci Handbags…

8 thoughts on “How to Go Hunting for Computer Viruses

  1. Hi,
    There is nothing worse than getting a virus in your computer. I got one about 12 mths ago couldn’t get rid of it and had to call in an expert. Luckily he didn’t have to wipe the hard drive. Still don’t know how it got past all the security. Since then of course I changed to a different security.

    I absolutely love your t-shirt, and so right for the situation.


    1. Hi Mag – Unfortunately security programs are always playing catch-up it seems. I used Microsoft Security Essentials because it rated well and it was free. But then I found Norton Internet Security on sale for about $10C per computer, so I bought a year of it. Now and then I run a free security sweep offered by Kaspersky, who seem to offer the most comprehensive free set of tools.
      I like Norton because when I do a Google search, Norton tells me if the sites that are listed are free of threats.


  2. I hate the days where I spend hours trying to hunt the problems down when my pc is acting sluggish or suspicious. It’s terribly annoying.
    Your t-shirt is fun and perfect for the occasion. I’m glad your pc wasn’t infected.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Amanda – I’m glad to say the computers all seem to be running normally. T-shirt is in the wash, then will be put away until the next time I need inspiration.


    1. Good question. I read one account that pointed out that hacking highlights weakness and shows what needs to be fixed. From that perspective, I guess your friend hasn’t fixed his weakness?

      Liked by 1 person

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