Press Release from The Never Been Freshly Pressed Club

~ Amusives

I was just putting the finishing touches on a post about all my blogging friends who have never been ‘Freshly Pressed‘. I was thinking it would be appropriate to form a group of ‘Never Been Freshly Pressed’ (NBFP) bloggers, perhaps design our own badge to put in a widget on our sidebar – celebrate our status as the underdogs.

I think everyone roots for the underdog.
– Johnny Knoxville

I was going to link to some of my fellow underdogs and the first on my list was Steve at The Brown Road Chronicles. He recently wrote about how he has skirted around accusations that he has used the banned substance called ‘Freshlypresstosterone’ in an attempt to achieve Freshly Pressed fame. I guess the drug finally worked –  yesterday Steve was Freshly Pressed.

Toonaday bandaid
Steve with A Broken Heart because he was Freshly Pressed

Congratulations Steve – but as self proclaimed President of the NBFP, I’m going to have to kick you out of our club. It breaks my heart to have to do it, but rules are rules. (Note to the Club Secretary – please get those rules written. Note to Membership – please nominate a secretary.)

I’m sorry Steve, but you will have to remove your belongings from the Club locker room. I’m going to have to suspend your bar and dining privileges too. (Note to Club House Manager – do we have a location for the Club yet? Note to Membership – hire a Club Manager.)

On the bright side, that means someone gets Steve’s parking stall.

Life goes on. Let me introduce you to some of the remaining members of our Club:

  • Al at thecvillean.  Al is blunt in describing his feelings about the WordPress FP editors: “When the intellectual powers that be at WordPress FP gather together to beatify a subscriber, please just put away the dartboard and actually read one of my posts.”
  • The self described ‘disjointed and somewhat snide’ blogger at Pouring My Art Out is pragmatic: “I have as much chance of being ‘freshly pressed’ as Dick Cheney has of being voted People Magazine’s ‘sexiest man alive’”.
  • Christine at The Good Stuff writes, “I just started my 2012 day timer with that freshly pressed paper smell” – In our club, Freshly pressed means different things to different people.
  • L8n at Back Road Scholar. L8n is well connected. If anyone can find us a club house, L8n can.
  • Me. I wrote about the probability of being Freshly Pressed in a post called So You’ve Never Been Freshly Pressed. I compared it to a lottery, but it isn’t. It is a competition with no fixed rules where there are winners and losers and no one really understands the how or why of any of it. As one Freshly Pressed Blogger said about being selected, “here was a post that was far from my favourite in terms of creativity and flow. It didn’t even contain any of my own pictures!”

Contrast that to all the benefits of the NBFP Club –  no long lines of strangers hanging about your blog hoping to cash in on your fame; no feelings of inadequacy if you don’t get Freshly Pressed again; and no depression when your site stats slip back to normal.

If you are an overlooked, under appreciated blogger and  you would like to join our club, head over to the home of our new President, Al, at the civillean so that your name can be added to our roster. You will have to take an Oath of Allegiance… once we get one written.

53 thoughts on “Press Release from The Never Been Freshly Pressed Club”

  1. This is hilarious but I do hope there is a self-help group out there somewhere for all the displaced commentators who ran from one FP to the next in a frantic and dizzying display of euphoric congratulations now that FP is at least off the WP front page and lurking where it belongs, behind a tab I need never have to visit!

    (Although disappointing for you to lose such a valuable member at this early stage but wow, and serious congratulations to Steve from The Brown Road Chronicles for FP!)

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    1. Yes Patti, I can think of a few people who are famous for appearing near the top of the comment queue of every post that has been Freshly Pressed in the past few years.
      I am indeed sorry to be losing Steve from our membership. I don’t think it will be easy to find a singing, goat rearing poet to replace him. But I wish him well, of course.

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  2. Some impressive bloggers here! I’ve never been able to figure out what kind of algorithm those WP use to decide who does and doesn’t get that honor. Perhaps I will stop blogging and writing and devote all my time to figuring out the formula. You think I have a chance? 😉

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    1. Do you think there is an algorithm? If there is, they haven’t plugged the terms grey haired, aging and Canadian into it.
      It is unfortunate, Lorna, that you can’t join our club. I think you have many skills that would be valuable, but you have – well, there is no polite way of saying it – crossed over to the dark side.

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    1. Of course! I’m so sorry I didn’t include you in my list. I just assumed you had been Freshly Pressed – you get so many comments!

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      1. When you hear someone of Winsomebella’s ilk has never been Freshly Pressed, you know there can be no rhyme nor reason to the process. I know so many great bloggers, yourself included, Margie, who’ve never made it onto the “front page.” I don’t understand it.

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        1. I don’t understand how Winsomebella could be overlooked either.
          I rationalize being overlooked because I am Canadian!

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  4. Hi Margie, thanks for thinking of me. Maybe I can still get a guest pass to the club house occasionally, especially the bar?!? Anyhow, this is a great post! I’m a little concerned that one of my “schticks” was writing funny posts about never being Pressed and now I’m not going to be able to use that theme anymore. Interestingly enough, I’ve often heard writers say of their FP’d post that they didn’t believe it was their best work. On the other hand, mine, about the Barn Coat was perhaps not my best, far from my worst either, but after writing it, something hit me that said “this is a really freakin’ good post that will get tons of attention!” I wasn’t thinking Freshly Pressed of course, just the usual readership. Then… NOTHING… and I mean NOTHING… a few comments, a few likes, but almost no response even from the loyal readers, so I figured, boy I really read that one wrong. Then it was Pressed and I almost fell off my chair. When all the comments started pouring in it was so nice and reassuring to see familiar faces, you, Maineiac, etc. and all the others that hang around our little blogging community. The activity is already winding down and guessing by tomorrow all will be back to normal. Having now been through this I will go back to what I said in the post, its not the coat you wear that’s important (FP’d) but where you choose to hang it (i.e. the bloggers that I’ve gotten to know)!!!

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    1. You hit the nail on the head, Steve. What really bothers me when someone I know gets Freshly Pressed is that the comments get high jacked by a bunch of strangers.
      But you deserve the attention, and I am happy for you. I believe the exposure will get you to the next level of blogging – let me know what it is….
      Stop in at the Club House any time. We would never turn away old friends.

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  5. I recon I have about as much chance of being “Freshly Pressed” as the trousers which have been sitting in the bottom of my ironing basket for the last five years …
    Can I join too please ? 😀

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    1. Welcome Sallyann. If you are willing, you can chair the “I have as much chance of being ‘Freshly Pressed’ as …” Committee.

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  6. I’ve never really paid that much attention to FP and don’t think I’d know if I’d been flattened. Should I be worrying about this? Or, maybe I can just continue as normal….

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    1. I don’t know Mike. You have been blogging since March of 2009 and your photographs are wonderful. I really think you will be flattened soon. I hope it won’t be too painful.

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  7. Not withstanding Woody Allen’s caveat that “he would never want to belong to a club that would have someone like him for a member”, I humbly and graciously accept membership into this hallowed organization. I will soon be submitting an entry for our oath of allegiance.

    I’d also like to volunteer to be treasurer. Members can easily send their dues to my Paypal account.

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    1. I agree, Al. I wouldn’t be joining either except for the fact I created the Club. I’m glad to hear you will pen the Oath of Allegiance. You have a flair for the dramatic, and we certainly want something that stirs the soul.
      Goody – I had hoped someone would volunteer to be Treasurer. I was thinking the dues should be dark chocolate – does Paypal accept that currency?

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      1. Try this out for size Margie:

        “I pledge allegiance to NBFP, and to the losers for which it stands, one blog group, overlooked by God, invisible, with WordPress injustice for all.”

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        1. Makes me want to stand and salute the Stars and Stripes, which is an odd thing for a Canadian to want to do!

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  8. I was ready to join, but Al beat me to the coveted treasurer’s position. Could I get a job in the NBSF Customer Service Department? I like to complain, have an intermittent snarky attitude, and am a true believer that FP is connected to Nostradamus’ predictions…and will never come true.

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    1. I hadn’t thought about a Customer Service Department, but you sound like just the woman for the job. I’m sure you would know how to respond to a complaint letter such as this one: “Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I’m typing this with my middle finger.”

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  9. After awhile, I just quit looking at the Freshly Pressed blogs….I find satisfaction in reading from my faves… now it one of my faves gets FP I will surely read it! otherwise… who cares?
    Sour grapes? maybe….
    Please send me an application for the NBFP

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  10. This post made me laugh! 🙂 I am not worried that I have never been Freshly Pressed, as I am still trying to produce a post that might be considered worthy! If I was constantly producing excellent FP-worthy posts (like many of you here) then I think I would feel suitably miffed and would be applying to be a member of NBFP. 😉

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  11. No FP for me, either Can I be sergeant at arms (not sure what that person does – but hope it doesn’t involve violence.) Can we get some cards made up?

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    1. I’m not sure what a Sergeant at Arms is either, but you are welcome to be ours. As soon as we find a “Maker of Cards”, we’ll have them make some up.

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        1. Congratulations K8edid – you’ve made the big time!

          I’m sorry you have to resign before we really get going. I suppose we’ll have to create an Alumni List.

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    1. Consider yourself on the roster. Eternal is a very long time, though. You will probably be Freshly Pressed long before eternal arrives.

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  13. Unfortunately, I’m ineligible to join your group, Margie. I’ve been FP’d twice. Why? Beats me. They don’t tell you how or why you were selected, and anything I’ve found about the ‘magic process’ (I checked into it before I was ‘so honoured’) is pretty vague. My guess is it has to do with tags and titles and a specific set of ‘popular’ words (similar to how most search engine optimization works) – get the ‘right’ combination and you win the prize. Both of my posts were ‘good’, but not my best work (in my opinion); at least with the second one, they warned me ahead of time (so I went in an ‘tweaked’ it a bit). In both cases, I saw a huge increase in visits (>2400 in the first case) over 24 or so hours, received a wealth of comments, and picked up a few new followers, but it really didn’t make a HUGE difference in my general readership. I suppose its a nice honour, but discovering ‘like minds’ (like yourself) whose work I enjoy is far more valuable to me. Maybe I can join if I don’t get FP’d again in the next couple of years?!?!?!?

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    1. I’m so sorry you can’t join us. I’m sure you would be valuable member. I’m sure we need a “Manager of Nostalgia”!

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  14. I have been giving the NBFP post some thought.

    I, too, cannot join because I got Freshly Pressed back in October 2012 for a post entitled “This WILL Happen to You” in which I complained (my vocation) about the instant regret surrounding any important decision. I told the FP people that I was stunned at being chosen and was now, as a curmudgeon, in the unenviable position of having to be pleased, at least temporarily. They wittily responded that “…you’ll likely receive a bunch of inane comments, and your traffic will drop again post-Freshly Pressing, so there’s some complaint fodder to look forward to.” How true.

    If it’s any consolation, I have seen my readership spike and then fall after the FP article. While I have a bigger readership than before, I would have preferred holding on to a larger and steadier group of followers. I suspect that a number of Freshly Pressed bloggers get their day in the sun and then return to obscurity.

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    1. Yes, I can imagine how hard it was to be pleased about something.

      I understand your observation about returning to obscurity. I think that would be a hard pill to swallow. It is one thing to be obscure and blame it on not being FP. It would be another thing entirely to get a shot at fame and… well, I shudder just thinking about it.

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  15. May I join? Here’s my oath: “I, the aforementioned ‘I’, who doesn’t look much like an eye or an aye aye, nor a goat and we won’t talk about brown paths because you never know what sort of goat made ’em, do solom… er, solumn… er, misspellingly swear to… to… er, thingy.”

    I wrote a wonderful unfreshly pressed post myself some weeks back. D’you want the link?

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    1. Yes, you are sure welcome to join our club! We welcome bloggers from Wales! I’m going to do a follow up post inviting all the membership to post links to their best unfreshly pressed post. Stay tuned!

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  16. The thing I don’t understand is that with so many blogs on WordPress, why doesn’t selection for FP disqualify that blog from being chosen again? Even without this restriction, most blogs will never be picked, just because of the numbers. But eliminating repeaters would improve the odds a little.

    Great post, Margie. What will happen to the club if you’re Freshly Pressed?

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    1. I agree – I don’t understand why some bloggers are Freshly Pressed multiple times – but I really don’t understand why WP lists tips for increasing your odds of being chosen, then chooses posts that don’t meet those expectations. It is a mystery! (It isn’t a mystery why you were Freshly Pressed, though!)

      I have no expectation of being Freshly Pressed. I’ve been blogging for three years. I am Canadian. I am… older. I am not cutting edge (I don’t swear). I don’t write about the Oscars. I don’t write about food. I don’t write about American Politics. The Club can expect me to continue serving as their President (until someone decides there should be elections.)

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  18. I love this. I was in a form of this club for quite a while, though there was no clubhouse then (sniff). I did get pressed back in January, but there’s a funny story to it. I wrote a somewhat controversial post bitching about someone who had been pressed four times and how said blogger wasn’t even grateful about it. I’d been watching what seemed like everyone and their dog getting pressed around me, and was more than a tad bitter. Anyway, an editor from FP commented on this post defending the editorial team, then weirdly started following me. I wondered if it was like the WP Secret Police. Then a month or two later, I got pressed. So in a way, I kind of got pressed for bitching about not getting pressed. Or at least it helped. I guess.

    One thing I hate about FP is how it can change some bloggers. Suddenly they think they are IT and they don’t act like themselves anymore. I feel like writing “you realize you’re still a blogger, right?” on their blogs.

    BTW, maybe this post didn’t get you pressed, but it got you a new follower.

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  19. It is a mystery why so many amazing posts get overlooked, but the best thing about blogging is finding others to read, laugh with, and be inspired by. That’s why I want to invite people to share their favorite ‘underdog’ posts…the should’ve been pressed. Funny how we were thinking along the same lines at the same time!

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    1. My next post about the NBFP Club includes an invite to post links to favourite posts. Yes, great minds think alike!

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  22. Hello! Me too (via Al)

    I try not to think about being Freshly Pressed too much, I know it would make me jump up and down and hug my iPad and probably ring work sick so I can spend the day replying to all my comments……

    But what really makes me smile & feel good about me is when I get a compliment or a ‘follow’ from a professional photographer 🙂

    Do you guys need a photographer on the committee?

    PS congratulations on getting FP’d!

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    1. Thanks for stopping in for a visit, Barbara. I’m sure Al would be happy to have a photographer in the Club, so be sure to let him know you will volunteer.
      I see you have your Never Been Freshly Pressed Badge on your sidebar!

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