Drinking Straws Quotations

The QuipperyThe lighter side of the Drinking Straw Ban.

You think people will stop at 3D printing guns? Next they’ll print straws and then we’re all good as dead.
– Comfortably Smug, Twitter –

“Dude, what are you in here for?”
“Grand theft auto, aggravated assault, and homicide. You?”
“Unauthorized distribution of an inexpensive, single-use beverage accessory.”
“Dear God. Good luck, man.”
– Current Events, Politics, Parody And Other Musings –

Hey California: What happens if an illegal alien uses a plastic straw in a sanctuary city?
– Charlie Kirk, Twitter –

Don’t ask for a straw with your smoothie, but definitely take an ecotourism trip to Costa Rica.
– s.e. smith, bitchmedia –

Looking back to my childhood, who would have thought that #drinkingstraws would be banned but #pot would be legal. #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmm
– @SamLapradeCFRE, May 17 –

If Straws Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Straws
– Jim Treacher, PJ Media –

Yesterday morning, we learned of PC-driven news from two of Americans largest corporations.
Starbucks announced its goal to eliminate plastic straws from all its stores by 2020, while Costco said it would ditch the Polish hotdog in favor of a fruit bowl and a plant-based protein salad.
– Charles Payne, Townhall Finance, July 10, 2018 –

“What’s your mom in for Jimmy?” “She got 6 months for doing the crime. She put a straw in a customer’s drink.”
– The Queen of Damn Near Everything –

Try to wrap your minds around this: we’re legalizing the sale of marijuana, but criminalizing the use of straws. Sanctuary cities are refusing to report illegal aliens, but threatening to put waiters in jail for providing their customers an unrequested straw.
– Current Events, Politics, Parody And Other Musings –

Last year McDonald’s debuted an exclusive, highly engineered straw dubbed the “Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal,” or STRAW, for short. The name took longer to say than the actual length of time the STRAW was around: It was only available for two days, February 24 and March 1, with a scant 2,000 of them spread across the entire country.
– Chris Woodward , LifeZette –

I’d suggest Californians start using lead straws. Then this would all be a self correcting problem on multiple fronts.
– Anonymous comment, California Introduces Bill to Criminalize Plastic Straws –