Dessert and Candy Quotations

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
– Author Unknown –

A bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. “You want to be careful with those,” Ron warned Harry. “When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor – you know, you get all the ordinary ones like chocolate and peppermint and marmalade, but then you can get spinach and liver and tripe. George reckons he had a booger-flavored one once.”
Ron picked up a green bean, looked at it carefully, and bit into a corner.
“Bleaaargh – see? Sprouts.”
– J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone –

After you’ve eaten all the raw cookie dough, you might as well turn off the oven.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
– Jim Fiebig –

A party without cake is just a meeting.
– Julia Child –

Cheese popcorn is not a dairy product.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

Dessert should close the meal gently and not in a pyrotechnic blaze of glory. No cultivated feeder, already well fed, thanks his host for confronting him with a dessert so elaborate that not to eat it is simply rude – like refusing to watch one’s host blow up Bloomingdale’s.
– Alan Koehler, ‘Madison Avenue Cook Book’ –

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250.
– Author Unknown –

Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.
– J. Hart –

I doubt whether the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream.
– Heywood Broun –

I prefer to regard a dessert as I would imagine the perfect woman: subtle, a little bittersweet, not blowsy and extrovert. Delicately made up, not highly rouged. Holding back, not exposing everything and, of course, with a flavor that lasts.
– Graham Kerr –

Life is like an 6-slice apple pie at a 12-guest dinner banquet. If you just sit back and wait for it to come to you, chances are, you’re going to miss dessert.
– Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness –

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
– Ernestine Ulmer –

Man at bakery: Inside me, there’s a thin person struggling to get out. But I can usually sedate him with four or five doughnuts.
– Author Unknown –

Mousse: How pudding describes itself on its résumé!
– Last Week Tonight with John Oliver –

One gloomy spring day my wife, who seldom bakes, asked our three year old daughter if she’d like to help her bake some cookies. Kaylah looked up at her mom in surprise and asked, “Is it Christmas again?”
– Jamey Gormley –

Out of love I made you a cake. Also out of milk, eggs, flour, sugar, and vanilla.
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over –

Question: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Answer: A cookie sheet.
– Author Unknown –

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
-Erma Bombeck –

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!
– Author Unknown –

These days, you never know what’s going to happen next. Ergo, eat your dessert first.
– Author Unknown –

Think what a better world it would be if we all had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap.
– Robert Fulghum –

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate the eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them.
– Gracie Allen –

We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson –

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
– Jim Davis –

You can say this for ready-mixes — the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
– Earl Wilson –

You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.
– Ronald Reagan –