Money, Shopping and Spending Quotations

Advertising is what makes you think you longed all your life for something you’ve never heard of before.
– Author Unknown —

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can buy happiness.
– Author Unknown –

As a businessman, he seems to have dedicated his life to the proposition that where selling to the public is concerned no idea is too stupid. (Referring to Bernard MacFadden)
– Bill Bryson –

At 20 I wanted to save the world. Now I’d be satisfied just to save part of my salary.
– H.G. Hutchison –

At a dinner party: I came from a well-to-do family. My mother was always saying, “Well, to do that, you’ll need more money.”
– Cathryn Baker Hopkins –

At the ATM they ask if you’d like to conduct your business in English or Spanish. I suggest you try Spanish, because your account balance will look much better in pesos.
– Tere Joyce –

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money.
– Robin Williams –

Dividends: A certain percent, per annum, perhaps.
– Evan Esar –

Don’t knock the rich. When did a poor person give you a job?
– Laurence J. Peter –

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.
– Joseph E. Cossman –

Economic advance is not the same thing as human progress.
-John Clapham, A Concise Economic History of Britain, 1957 –

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
– Don Marquis –

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
– Robert Orben –

Every time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
– Herbert Hoover –

Forget about being world famous, it’s hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.
– Doug Coupland –

He had decided that if he ever returned to his old job he would create a special level of hell, an enormous inescapable shop of attractive but useless and overpriced items that the damned would wander for eternity in the cold delusion that this was what they wanted. And then Nerys had taken him to IKEA and Clovenhoof realised the humans had once again beaten him to it.
– Heide Goody, Clovenhoof –

He should have been born a prince with lots of money instead of a pauper with a charge card.
– Author Unknown –

I didn’t want to be rich, I just wanted enough to get the couch reupholstered.
– Kate Mostel –

I want my children to have all the things I never could afford. Then I want to move in with them.
– Phyliss Diller –

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive.
– William F. Buckley –

If it was easy to be wealthy, then more people would be.
– Author Unknown –

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
– Author Unknown –

If you want to see a shorter winter, borrow money that’s due in the spring.
– Author Unknown –

If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.
– Author Unknown –

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
– Author Unknown –

If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.
-Cynthia Nelms –

If you’re going antique hunting, prepare yourself for some odd smells.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

I hate to shop. I consider it one of life’s necessary evils, like brussels sprouts and high-heeled shoes.
– Laurell K. Hamilton, Guilty Pleasures

I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
– Ilie Nastase –

Investing should be more like watching paint dry or watching grass grow. If you want excitement, take $800 and go to Las Vegas.
– Paul Samuelson –

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
– Rita Rudner –

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to 10. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
– M. Grundler –

It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.
– John Sinor –

It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.
– Anton Strout, Dead Waters –

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
– Author Unknown –

I was not prepared for the incredible variety of products available in American grocery stores. While on my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk – you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice – you just add water, and you get orange juice and then I saw baby powder – I thought to myself, what a country!
– Yakov Smirnoff –

I’ve always believed the adage, “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it,” but I never expected it to apply to postage stamps.
– Author Unknown –

I’ve got all the money I need, if I die by 4 o’clock.
– Henny Youngman –

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’
– Steven Wright –

Living on a budget is the same as living beyond your means except you have a record of it.
– Author Unknown –

…most guys have about 73 calories of shopping energy, and once these calories are gone, they’re gone for the day – if not the week – and can’t be regenerated simply by having an Orange Julius at the Food Fair.
– Douglas Coupland, Microserfs –

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
– Erma Bombeck –

My motto is ‘Veni, Vidi, Visa’ – We came, we saw, we went shopping.
– Sally Poplin –

Never ask of money spent
Where the spender thinks it went.
Nobody was ever meant
To remember or invent
What he did with every cent.
– Robert Frost –

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
– H.L. Mencken –

Online shopping: because it’s frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine.
– Author Unknown –

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
– Author Unknown –

One reason a dollar won’t do as much as it once did is because people won’t do as much for a dollar as they once did.
– Author Unknown –

Overheard at Costco, as a boy pushed an over-flowing cart behind his mom: “Mom, we only brought the Jetta, you know!”
– Author Unknown –

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
– Joan Rivers –

Stores hire extra help for the holidays. This way, customers who don’t know what they want are helped by people who don’t know where it is!
– Author Unknown –

The grocery store is the great equalizer where mankind comes to grips with the facts of life like toilet tissue.
– Joseph Goldberg –

The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences – whoever has the gold makes the rules.
– Author Unknown –

The way to stop the financial joy riding is to arrest the chauffeur, not the automobile.
– Woodrow Wilson –

They call it take home pay because there is no other place you can afford to go with it.
– Author Unknown-

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?
– Princess Diana –

This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
– Douglas Adams –

This violates a fundamental rule of happy living: Never let the people with all the money and the people with all the guns be the same people.
– P.J. O’Rourke –

… there was a time in my life, decades ago, when I was so full of energy that I was going to not only END WORLD HUNGER but also STOP WAR and ELIMINATE RACISM. Whereas today my life goals, to judge from the notes I leave myself, tend to be along the lines of BUY DETERGENT.
– Dave Barry –

They came, they saw, they did a little shopping.
– Anonymous graffiti on the Berlin wall after travel restrictions were lifted and thousands of East Berliners flooded into West Berlin, Newsweek, December 4, 1989 –

Too caustic? To hell with the cost – we’ll make the movie anyway.
– Samuel Goldwyn –

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
– Will Rogers –

Wal-mart… do they like, make walls there?
– Paris Hilton –

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
– Jose Batista, Burn, Baby, Burn! –

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
– Doug Larson –

When I am an Old Man… I’ll start saying things like “It used to be that when you paid more than $5000 for something, it came with a basement!”
– Tony Dierckens, Tim Nyberg –

When I first started working, I used to dream of the day when I might be earning the salary I’m starving on now.
– Author Unknown –

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
– Gittel Hudnick –

Why waste your money looking up your family tree, just go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
– Mark Twain –

You don’t always get what you pay for, but you never get what you don’t pay for.
– Author Unknown –

You know you’ve spent too much money on your vacation when the balance in your bank account is lower than the number on your sunscreen.
– Author Unknown –