Sun, Stars and Moon Quotations

The Quippery

From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the Moon. It’s not a miracle; we just decided to go.
– Tom Hanks-

I count myself lucky, having long ago won a lottery paid to me in seven sunrises a week for life.
– Robert Brault –

I like that time is marked by each sunrise and sunset whether or not you actually see it.
– Catherine Opie –

I’m not particularly impressed with going 50 miles per gallon. That doesn’t impress me when we can go to the moon.
– Alexandra Paul –

I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.
– Arthur C. Clarke, Science Fiction Writer –

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought… I must put a roof on this toilet.
– Les Dawson –

I pointed out to you the stars (the moon) and all you saw was the tip of my finger.
– Tanzania Proverb –

Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Oh wait, it’s just a satellite
– Author Unknown –

The sun does not abandon the moon to darkness.
― Brian A. McBride, Dominion –

The sky is that beautiful old parchment in which the sun and the moon keep their diary.
– Alfred Kreymborg –

They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand,
on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.
– Edward Lear –

The youth gets together his materials to build a bridge to the moon, or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth, and, at length, the middle-aged man concludes to build a woodshed with them.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.
– Alan Watts –

We knew it was going to be difficult to get to the moon. We didn’t know how difficult.
– Alan Bean –

We lay there and looked up at the night sky and she told me about stars called blue squares and red swirls and I told her I’d never heard of them. Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you. You have to imagine it on your own.
– Brian Andreas –

What do you think of that new restaurant on the moon? The food’s great but it has no atmosphere.
– Author Unknown –

While living on Earth might be a little expensive, at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.
– Author Unknown –

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly
you’re not ‘professional’ any more.
– Jeff Foxworthy

Retirement Quotations

The Quippery

After investing as much as possible over the past 25 years, I think it’s time to rollover my retirement fund into pizza and a movie.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
– Ella Harris –

Dog to man: Now that you’re retired, you can finally do fun stuff you never had time for! Tip over the trash, chew on the sofa, bark at squirrels…
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

Don’t act your age, in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.
– J. A. West –

Here’s our new retirement plan – at age 65, we’ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
– Gene Perret –

In appreciation for 25 years of service as a kindergarten teacher, we made you this gold watch from macaroni and glitter.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

In 2055, retirement village residents play a game of “Guess what the tattoo used to be!”
– Cartoon –

I think I have enough money for a comfortable retirement. All I need to be comfortable is a pair of soft slippers and some loose underwear.
– Randy Glasbergen –

I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.
– Walt Mossberg –

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
– Andy Rooney –

Relying on change under the couch cushion is a risky retirement plan.
– Wildt –

Retirement’s great paradox? It takes work.
– Robert Laura –

Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home — forever.”
– Gene Perret –

Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
– Author Unknown –

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
– George Foreman –

The real reason many men don’t live long after retiring: “Well, after just a week at home, I’ve come up with a comprehensive list on how to do things more efficiently around here, honey…”
– Cartoon Author Unknown –

The thing to do is to make so much money that you don’t have to work after the age of twenty-seven. In case this is impracticable, stop work at the earliest possible moment, even if it is at a quarter past eleven on the morning of the day when you find you do have enough money.
– Robert Benchley –

Warning: Retired person on premises. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell it.
– T-Shirt –

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
– R.C. Sherriff –

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
– Chi Chi Rodriguez –

Military Quotations

The QuipperyBritain has invented a new missile. It’s called the civil servant – it doesn’t work and it can’t be fired.
– General Sir Walter Walker –

Friendly fire – isn’t.
– Author Unknown –

Have you ever stopped to ponder the amount of blood spilled, the volume of tears shed, the degree of pain and anguish endured, the number of noble men and women lost in battle so that we as individuals might have a say in governing our country? Honor the lives sacrificed for your freedoms.
– Richelle E. Goodrich –

Knowledge dominance does scare us as Marines. General George Armstrong Custer probably thought he had knowledge dominance, too. Any time you think you’re smarter than your adversary, you’re probably about a half-mile from the Little Big Horn.
– Colonel Art Corbett, USMC –

If it moves, salute it; if it doesn’t move, pick it up; and if you can’t pick it up, paint it.
– Author Unknown –

If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.
– Napoleon Bonaparte –

I know a lot of you are going through separation anxiety… but there’s nothing I can do about getting a Tim Hortons in Kabul.
– Al Howard, Col., brigade commander to troops leaving for Afghanistan –

I know of nothing so absolutely pitiless as weather.
-John McCrae, letter from the trenches January 25, 1917 –

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead: Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved: and now we lie
In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
– Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae Composed at the battlefront on May 3, 1915
during the second battle of Ypres, Belgium –

It is the soldier, not the reporter, Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, Who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protestor to burn the flag.
– Father Dennis Edward O’Brian, USMC –

Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon … And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air … and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth — boxes of Crayolas.
– Robert Fulghum (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things) –

Never in the face of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few.
– Winston Churchill, Battle of Britain –

Nothing is so good for the morale of the troops as occasionally to see a dead general.
– Field Marshal Slim –

Perhaps it’s time the nations of the world forgot about the whole tenuous idea of a lasting peace and just settled down to making some rules for a nice, safe war.
– Jack Scott, From our town 1959 –

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.
– Air Force Motto –

There are no fat war photographers.
– Peter Howe, author of “Shooting Under Fire” –

There are some who’ve forgotten why we have a military. It’s not to promote war, it’s to be prepared for peace.
– President Ronald Reagan –

The reason we call ships ‘she’ is that it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder.
– Chester W. Nimitz –

Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it.
– Eric Nicol -Say Uncle 1961 –

War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
– John Stuart Mill –

We fight for lost causes because we know that our defeat may be the preface to our successors victory.
– T.S. Eliot –

When retired Air Force General and internationally famous test pilot Chuck Yeager was on tour promoting his book, a newsman showed him a picture of two World War II planes in a dogfight. Attempting to gauge Yeager’s feelings about war, the wiley newsman asked Yeager for his thoughts on the picture. Yeager’s coolly drawled response was, “The object is not to be in the picture.”
– News Report on Chuck Yeager –

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
– Author Unknown –

When you have a hammer, all problems start to look like nails.
But nations without great military power face the opposite danger: When you don’t have a hammer, you don’t want anything to look like nails.
– Robert Kagan –

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.
– Robert A. Heinlein –

Some of Me Has Moved

After much thought about whether to change my blog URL, or move, I decided to split this blog into two blogs. This one is called Amusives. The other is called Counter Current.

The old blog now has the Amusives URL. It was easy to do. WordPress changes the address on all the posts and pages; and updates all the media addresses. All my stats remain.

Unfortunately, all the comments I’ve ever made on other WordPress blogs don’t get updated completely. The URL that people click would be the old site address, which would be broken. My gravatar profile (photo and the links I have entered) is always updated  with the information I entered in my profile.

Another downside is that every site that has created a link to the old blog address has become a broken link. Also, my google ranking for some things will tank for some period of time. (I have a handful of posts that have been popular for years thanks to how they rank with google!)

Before I embarked on this ‘you can’t go back’ change, I wanted to find out how readers find my new posts:

1. Are you an email subscriber?
2. Do you follow on the WordPress Reader (you clicked the ‘Follow’ link)?
3. Do you use a feed reader such as Feedly?
4. Do you follow links on my Facebook page?
5. Do you follow links on Twitter?
6. Do you visit me after I have left a comment on your blog?
7. Do you stop by now and then just to see what is new?

So, why the change? I can’t really explain the logic as to why I had to do this, but I did.

woman lift moveMaybe it was because I have been blogging for Ten Years and needed a change.

Maybe it is because my computer is still at the repair shop and I have spent over two weeks working with a computer toolbox where all the ‘screwdrivers’ are now ‘pliers’ and there isn’t a ‘hammer’ to be had.

Maybe it is because it is cold and rainy and my fingers shouldn’t get numb trying to pick raspberries in August.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

Best of Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012) was an American journalist, writer, and filmmaker. She is best known for romantic comedy films such as ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and ‘Sleepless in Seattle’.

Prior to her death she made a list called ‘What I Won’t Miss’. This included dry skin, email, dead flowers, the sound of the vacuum cleaner and small print. ‘What I Will Miss’ included her husband and children, spring, waffles, bacon, fireworks, twinkle lights, coming over the bridge to Manhattan and pie.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.

Don’t buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when you try it on in the store.

Freedom of the press belongs to the man who owns one.

If Sigmund Freud had watched Phil Donahue he would never have wondered what women want.

I have a theory that children remember two things – when you weren’t there and when they threw up.

I have been forgetting things for years – at least since I was in my 30s. I know this because I wrote something about it at the time; I have proof. Of course I can’t remember exactly where I wrote about it or when, but I could probably hunt it up if I had to.

I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.

I’ve always felt that one of the mistakes people make is that they try to do something that is just slightly beyond their skill set, and then feel they’ve failed.

My mother was a good recreational cook, but what she basically believed about cooking was that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.

Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don’t take it off until you’re thirty-four.

Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.

…the amount of maintenance involving hair is genuinely overwhelming. Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.

The Wonderbra is not a step forward for women. Nothing that hurts that much is a step forward for women.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Why do people write books that say it’s better to be older than to be younger? It’s not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you’re constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yesterday.

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

This is the Week That Was: July 5, 2019 – Marble Machine, Tucson Police Dept (Videos)

Not Too Serious Politics

Albrecht Dürer and Parti Rhinocéros
Logo used by the Rhinoceros Party of Canada in the 20th century. Taken from the 1515 ink drawing by the German painter Albrecht Dürer.

The Parti Rhinocéros or Rhinoceros Party, was a Canadian political party from 1963 to 1993.

Informally called ‘The Rhinos’, the party was started  by Jacques Ferron, a Canadian physician and author. The rhinoceros was chosen as their symbol  because politicians are: “thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger…”

The organizers said they were Marxist-Lennonist, which was a tip of the hat to Groucho Marx and John Lennon. The party platform was described as being ‘two feet high and made of wood’.

Music from a Marble Machine

Isn’t this just about the most amazing machine you have ever seen?

More from Wintergaten.

A Clothes Dryer

I saw a cartoon that showed two women standing in the backyard, admiring a nicely pegged line of clothes on a clothesline. The one woman remarks, “It dries the washing using the very latest technology – a combination of solar and wind power.”

How many of you remember using that technology? There was little to nothing blissful about it. It was brutal in the winter, wicked on a windy day, useless when it was raining and shitty when some birds landed on the lines.

I love my dryer…

Watching a Snow Video in the Summer

This Video was especially funny the first time we saw it because we were in Arizona during the storm.

Things That Tell The Truth

Small Children
Drunk People
Yoga Pants

What would you add to this list of things that tell the truth?

Harvestman – Looks Like a Spider, But Isn’t

We always called these daddy longleg spiders, but they aren’t spiders! Arachnids – yes. Spiders – no. I only figured this out today when I did the research for this post.

They aren’t even the only critters that are called daddy longlegs – cellar spiders and craneflies are called that too.

Bug Bits
Name:  Harvestman
Species:  Phalangium opilio
Native to:  Found in most terrestrial habitats.
Date Seen:  October 2011; August 2013
Location:  North of Calgary, Alberta
Notes:  These arachnids have eight long slender legs and short globular bodies. They don’t have antennae. They don’t spin webs, and they are not venomous.

Eurasian Collared-Dove

The Feather Files
Name:  Eurasian Collared-Dove
Species:  Streptopelia decaocto
Native to and Migration:  In North America – most of the United States; SW Canada, Mexico; non-migratory.
Date Seen:  May 2017; March 2016
Location:  North of Calgary, Alberta; north of Fountain Hills, Arizona
Notes:  These birds are now native to Europe and Asia, though they were originally from India. They were introduced into North America in 1974, when about 50 of them escaped captivity in Nassau, New Providence, Bahamas – then moved to Florida.

These doves typically breed close to human habitation where food resources are abundant and there are trees for nesting. They can produce three or four broods a year, which helps to explain their successful colonization of such a large part of the world.

They are a valuable food source for owls, eagles, hawks and falcons.

The dove’s monotonous coo – coo – coo can be incredibly annoying because it is repeated over and over and over – for hours. If the bird (or birds) are sitting on the top of the fireplace chimney, the sound is amplified and even more annoying… A flock of doves on the roof of your house is a very messy affair.

Refrigerator Quotations

The Quippery

A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your partner. Simply remount the door on the other side after his 10th can of lager and he won’t be able to figure out how to open it before the commercial break finishes.”
― Andre the BFG, Andre’s Adventures in MySpace –

Anyone who’s ever put a stamp on an envelope or a note on their refrigerator knows what it’s like to make a collage. There’s no esoteric technique.
– Elliott Hundley –

Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters–which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.
– Calvin Trillin –

Figuring out why people who choose not to do something don’t in fact do it is like attempting to interview the elves who live inside your refrigerator but come out only when the light is off.
– Eileen Pollack –

Giving a politician access to your wallet is like giving a dog access to your refrigerator.
– Tim Barber –

How many times have you been watching an episode of ‘South Park’ and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?’
– Trey Parker –

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
– Joey Adams –

I think anything can be forced to converge. The problem is that products are about tradeoffs, and you begin to make tradeoffs to the point where what you have left at the end of the day doesn’t please anyone. You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.
– Tim Cook –

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.
– Hugh Allen –

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
– Dave Barry –

My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, ‘There’s nothing to eat!’
– Erma Bombeck –

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
– Erma Bombeck –

My wife left a note on the fridge that said “This isn’t working. I’m going to my mom’s.” I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I’m not sure what she was talking about.
– Author Unknown –

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
– Demetri Martin –

On a very local scale, a refrigerator is the center of the universe. On the inside is food essential to life, and on the outside of the door is a summary of the life events of the household.
– Robert Fulghum –

Open your refrigerator door, and you summon forth more light than the total amount enjoyed by most households in the 18th century. The world at night, for much of history, was a very dark place indeed.
– Bill Bryson –

The ecclesiastical description of Hell is that of a horrible place of fire and torment; in Dante’s Inferno, and in northern climes, it was thought to be an icy cold region, a giant refrigerator.
– Anton Szandor LaVey –

The thing to remember is that children are temporary. As soon as they develop a sense of humor and get to be good company, maybe even remember to take the trash out and close the refrigerator door, they pack up their electronic equipment and their clothes, and some of your clothes, and leave in a U-Haul, to return only at Thanksgiving.
– Barbara Holland –

This is a haiku
Haiku’s don’t have to make sense
Refrigerator
― Author Unknown –

We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
– Judy Gold –

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.
– Bonnie McFarlane –

With two sons born eighteen months apart, I operated mainly on automatic pilot through the ceaseless activity of their early childhood. I remember opening the refrigerator late one night and finding a roll of aluminum foil next to a pair of small red tennies. Certain that I was responsible for the refrigerated shoes, I quickly closed the door and ran upstairs to make sure I had put the babies in their cribs instead of the linen closet.
– Mary Blakely –