Refrigerator Quotations

The Quippery

A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your partner. Simply remount the door on the other side after his 10th can of lager and he won’t be able to figure out how to open it before the commercial break finishes.”
― Andre the BFG, Andre’s Adventures in MySpace –

Anyone who’s ever put a stamp on an envelope or a note on their refrigerator knows what it’s like to make a collage. There’s no esoteric technique.
– Elliott Hundley –

Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters–which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.
– Calvin Trillin –

Figuring out why people who choose not to do something don’t in fact do it is like attempting to interview the elves who live inside your refrigerator but come out only when the light is off.
– Eileen Pollack –

Giving a politician access to your wallet is like giving a dog access to your refrigerator.
– Tim Barber –

How many times have you been watching an episode of ‘South Park’ and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?’
– Trey Parker –

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
– Joey Adams –

I think anything can be forced to converge. The problem is that products are about tradeoffs, and you begin to make tradeoffs to the point where what you have left at the end of the day doesn’t please anyone. You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.
– Tim Cook –

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.
– Hugh Allen –

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
– Dave Barry –

My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, ‘There’s nothing to eat!’
– Erma Bombeck –

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
– Erma Bombeck –

My wife left a note on the fridge that said “This isn’t working. I’m going to my mom’s.” I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I’m not sure what she was talking about.
– Author Unknown –

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
– Demetri Martin –

On a very local scale, a refrigerator is the center of the universe. On the inside is food essential to life, and on the outside of the door is a summary of the life events of the household.
– Robert Fulghum –

Open your refrigerator door, and you summon forth more light than the total amount enjoyed by most households in the 18th century. The world at night, for much of history, was a very dark place indeed.
– Bill Bryson –

The ecclesiastical description of Hell is that of a horrible place of fire and torment; in Dante’s Inferno, and in northern climes, it was thought to be an icy cold region, a giant refrigerator.
– Anton Szandor LaVey –

The thing to remember is that children are temporary. As soon as they develop a sense of humor and get to be good company, maybe even remember to take the trash out and close the refrigerator door, they pack up their electronic equipment and their clothes, and some of your clothes, and leave in a U-Haul, to return only at Thanksgiving.
– Barbara Holland –

This is a haiku
Haiku’s don’t have to make sense
Refrigerator
― Author Unknown –

We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
– Judy Gold –

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.
– Bonnie McFarlane –

With two sons born eighteen months apart, I operated mainly on automatic pilot through the ceaseless activity of their early childhood. I remember opening the refrigerator late one night and finding a roll of aluminum foil next to a pair of small red tennies. Certain that I was responsible for the refrigerated shoes, I quickly closed the door and ran upstairs to make sure I had put the babies in their cribs instead of the linen closet.
– Mary Blakely –

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