Retirement Quotations

The Quippery

After investing as much as possible over the past 25 years, I think it’s time to rollover my retirement fund into pizza and a movie.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
– Ella Harris –

Dog to man: Now that you’re retired, you can finally do fun stuff you never had time for! Tip over the trash, chew on the sofa, bark at squirrels…
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

Don’t act your age, in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.
– J. A. West –

Here’s our new retirement plan – at age 65, we’ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
– Gene Perret –

In appreciation for 25 years of service as a kindergarten teacher, we made you this gold watch from macaroni and glitter.
– Randy Glasbergen cartoon –

In 2055, retirement village residents play a game of “Guess what the tattoo used to be!”
– Cartoon –

I think I have enough money for a comfortable retirement. All I need to be comfortable is a pair of soft slippers and some loose underwear.
– Randy Glasbergen –

I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.
– Walt Mossberg –

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
– Andy Rooney –

Relying on change under the couch cushion is a risky retirement plan.
– Wildt –

Retirement’s great paradox? It takes work.
– Robert Laura –

Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home — forever.”
– Gene Perret –

Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
– Author Unknown –

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
– George Foreman –

The real reason many men don’t live long after retiring: “Well, after just a week at home, I’ve come up with a comprehensive list on how to do things more efficiently around here, honey…”
– Cartoon Author Unknown –

The thing to do is to make so much money that you don’t have to work after the age of twenty-seven. In case this is impracticable, stop work at the earliest possible moment, even if it is at a quarter past eleven on the morning of the day when you find you do have enough money.
– Robert Benchley –

Warning: Retired person on premises. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell it.
– T-Shirt –

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
– R.C. Sherriff –

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
– Chi Chi Rodriguez –

13 thoughts on “Retirement Quotations

  1. “I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.” I really like this. I’ve reinvented myself many times in my life; so far my retirement self is my favourite!


    1. Knowing if you have enough money to retire – that’s the challenge. We were returning from 5 years of overseas assignment and just took a wild guess that we had enough!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess that’s why so many retired people have blogs. Plenty to talk about and few face-to-face people who have time to listen.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your words have prompted a poetry flashback! Gonna have to quote it – sorry!

        It is an ancient Mariner,
        And he stoppeth one of three.
        “By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
        Now wherefore stopp’st thou me?

        The Bridegroom’s doors are opened wide,
        And I am next of kin;
        The guests are met, the feast is set:
        May’st hear the merry din.”

        He holds him with his skinny hand,
        “There was a ship,” quoth he.
        “Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!”
        Eftsoons his hand dropt he.

        He holds him with his glittering eye—
        The Wedding-Guest stood still,
        And listens like a three years’ child:
        The Mariner hath his will …


        1. The last time I read that poem was… a really long time ago!
          Glad I don’t have tales to tell that match that of the Mariner!

          Liked by 1 person

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