Speaking Quotations

The Quippery

A closed mind is an enigma indeed. Nothing ever goes in – but odd things are forever coming out.
– Laurence Dunphy –

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears, of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before the Rotary Club, or the words ‘some assembly required.’
– Dave Barry –

An echo is pretty accurate, but it doesn’t contribute much that is new.
– E.C. McKenzie –

As in the days of his prime, McLuhan was eager to share a bit of intellectual gold he had just discovered in his endless prospecting.
– Philip Marchand –

Be sincere, be brief, be seated.
– Franklin Roosevelt –

Beware the tongue. It’s normally wet and likely to slip.
– Author Unknown –

Boren’s First Law: When in doubt, mumble.
– Author Unknown –

Commencement speakers have a good deal in common with grandfather clocks: Standing usually some six feet tall, typically ponderous in construction, more traditional than functional, their distinction is largely their noisy communication of essentially commonplace information.
– Denzel Feinberg –

Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. It’s the only way you can be sure somebody’s listening.
– F.P. Jones –

Every speaker has a mouth,
an arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom,
sometimes it’s filled with feet.
– Robert Orben –

Finster’s Law: a closed mouth gathers no feet.
– Author Unknown –

For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.
– Bruce Barton, Readers Digest, January 1974 –

I didn’t know at first that there were two languages in Canada. I just thought that there was one way to speak to my father and another to speak to my mother.
– St. Laurent, Louis –

I don’t call it gossip, I call it “emotional speculation”.
– Laurie Colwin –

I’d rather be told “Have a nice day,” by someone who doesn’t mean it, than “Sod off,” by someone who does. (Answer to the question of how he felt about American insincerity.)
– Author Unknown –

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
– Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman, attributed –

I love my body, but I’d like to have a sieve over my mouth. Sometimes I read what I say – apparently sarcasm doesn’t translate in print.
– Sandra Bullock –

I’m not sure if I should be here speaking. When I was younger, they said I was too introverted to even lead in silent prayer.
– Tom Livingston-

I never know how much of what I say is true.
– Bette Midler –

I never had a humble opinion. If you’ve got an opinion, why be humble about it?
– Joan Baez –

It does seem so pleasant to talk with an old acquaintance who knows what you know. Conversation has got to have some root in the past, or else you have got to explain every remark you make, and it wears a person out.
– Sarah Orne Jewett –

It’s all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.
– Dr. Rob Gilbert-

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
– Mark Twain –

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know.
– Mark Twain –

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.
– Albert Einstein –

My job is to talk; your job is to listen. If you finish first, please let me know.
– Harry Herschfield –

Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
– Author Unknown –

Of course everything has been said that needs to be said – but since no one was listening it has to be said again.
– Author Unknown –

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
– Will Durant –

Revolving doors pushed quarters of conversation out into the street.
– Colum, McCann Let the Great World Spin –

Tact is the talent of shutting up before someone else wants you to.
– Unknown Chinese Fortune Cookie –

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
– Author Unknown –

The brightest things you ever say are those you think about next day.
– Arnold Glasow –

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
– George Jessel –

The thoughts of two people are more valuable than money. When two people exchange dollar bills, each still has only one dollar. When they exchange ideas, each then has two ideas.
– Author Unknown, Bits & Pieces, April 25, 1996 –

The tongue is the deadliest of all blunt instruments.
– Shannon Rice –

The words you speak today should be soft and tender, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.
– Author Unknown –

We communicate with our bodies, especially the hands. How many people, when asked to describe a corkscrew, can do it without twirling their finger?
– Author Unknown –

When I was born I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Allen –

When your mind goes blank, don’t forget to turn off the sound!
– Author Unknown –

We’ve had our cliches framed
and hung up on the wall
so now for conversation
we don’t have to talk at all.
– Roger McGough “Mute Consent”, Worse Verse, 1969 –

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks.
– Jean Kerr –

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