Mind and Mental Health Quotations

The Quippery

Some of the following quotations will offend someone. Some will make someone smile.
As Jimmy Buffett says: “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.
– Jerome Lawrence –

As you look at history, it’s apparent that human behaviour is much easier to predict than the weather.
– Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point –

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, just make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
– William Gibson –

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
– Author Unknown –

Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.
– Robin Williams –

Gettin’ up a lynch party is not group therapy.
– Gladiola Montana, Never Ask a Man the Size of His Spread –

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?
– Author Unknown –

I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.
– Author Unknown –

I may rise, but I refuse to shine.
– Author Unknown –

Instead of a sign that says ‘Do Not Disturb;’ I need one that says, ‘Already disturbed, proceed with caution.’
– aunty acid –

In a perfect world, everyone would have sufficient insight to know when their engines needed a tune-up. In our world, some cars need to be towed in.
– Jonathan Kellerman –

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
– Badge, Brussels, 1984 –

It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
– Sally Kempton –

It’s not easy to stay sane in a world which offers such a wonderful choice of madnesses.
– Ashleigh Brilliant –

I want to show that the dividing lines between sanity and mental illness have been drawn in the wrong place.
– Anthony Storr –

I was popular once, but my therapist took all my imaginary friends away.
– Author Unknown –

Neurotic: A person who has discovered the secret of perpetual emotion.
– Dan Bennett, Readers Digest, April 1957 –

One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends – and if they seem okay, then you’re the one.
– Ann Landers –

One of the greatest mental freedoms is truly not caring what anyone else thinks of you.
– Author Unknown –

Pointing to his head: “My committee wakes up about an hour and a half before I do.”
– John Larroquette –

Richard, in describing to his aunt in Halifax what Down Syndrome meant, said that it would probably mean Sam wouldn’t be the Prime Minister of Canada but could possibly be a cabinet minister in New Brunswick.
– Wendy Lil –

Sanity is maintained only by healthy and regular promenades around it’s border.
– Davidson & Rugge –

Some doctors say that cheerful people resist disease better than grumpy ones. The surly bird catches the germ.
– Leadershop, Vol F No 7C –

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don’t understand, goes to the store for a quart of milk.
– Joel, Northern Exposure –

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
– David Letterman –

The human brain is like a freight car – guaranteed to have a certain capacity, but often running empty.
– Farmers Almanac, 1997 Volume 180 –

There are some who say the entire North American continent is formed on a decided tilt, resulting in all the nuts rolling to the West. We have never denied this.
– Anne Cameron –

There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.
― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive –

Though confined to the mental hospital most of the time – which he appeared to accept as just another curious event in his troubled life – he wrote Theo as he started painting again.
– David Douglas Duncan, Sunflowers for Van Gogh –

To live frugally and decently…to live sanely in a troubled world.
– Scott Nearing –

Trekkie…addicts felt they were boldly going where few had gone before but researchers feared many took Captain Kirk’s instruction of “Beam Me Up, Scotty” too literally and suggested they were on a different planet.
– Reuters Ltd London –

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
– Mark Twain –

Woman to psychiatrist: “If my life were a movie, this is about the time I’d go to the snack bar.”
– Carrie Snow –

“You seem to be reacting to your boyfriend as if he were your father,” your shrink may say stonily (unless she is a strict Freudian, in which case she’ll shut up and wait until you think of it yourself, a process that usually takes ten years. This is why strict Freudians have such lovely summer houses.)
– Cynthia Heimel –

Your mind’s been wandering for years. Maybe it’s time the rest of you went with it.
– Bucar’s RV Ad –