This and That – Many Memes

Memory Foam

A man was lying in bed on his new memory foam mattress. He soon regretted buying it because it spoke to him all night long – “Remember when you wet your pants at the school picnic? Remember when you could sleep until noon? Remember when you didn’t have to count calories?”

Rarities

Sunday Morning Love Story
Sunday morning, except for those week-ends where Saturday morning is declared virtual Sunday because real Sunday morning is otherwise occupied… The Car Guy goes to Tim Hortons and buys us each a Breakfast Sandwich and beverages – Coffee (light roast with 2 milks) for him and a small Tim’s Iced Capp Light for me.

Friends don’t let friends drink Starbucks.
-Tim Hortons T-shirt –

If you can tell people you’re at Timmy’s and they don’t ask ‘Timmy Who?’, then you might be a Canadian.

Laundry Day

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “Texas A&M”.

Cat Tales or Tails

The cat sitting at the keyboard of the computer explains to the cat watching: “So far I’ve discovered I was in a litter of eight and my mother’s name was Fluffy!”
– Author Unknown – comment about Genealogy Research –

Tupperware? More like Tupper-where-is-the-freakin’-lid?
– Aunty Acid –

Oh, You Mean Real Red Flags…

Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.

Have you been to Meteor Crater in Arizona? It is the world’s best preserved meteorite impact site – the result of a collision that rocked the American Southwest approximately 50,000 years ago. It is about one mile across, 2.4 miles in circumference and more than 550 feet deep. The object that created the crater was a nickel-iron meteorite about 160 ft (50 meters) across.

Attitude Adjustment Time – Not Weeds – Wildflowers!

In Arizona, we live in a community that encourages low water use desert plantings. This means gravel yards instead of grass. Landscaping is done with cactus, succulents and plants that don’t use much water. Residents are also expected to keep weeds under control.

This past spring, the vacant house and lot next door to us quickly become overgrown with a carpet of weeds. Most of these weeds had tiny flowers, so the overall effect was greenly messy. As the Arizona sun got high and hot, the weeds started to die, and the yard started to look brownly messy.

I was less than impressed with living next door to a weed seed factory… but my attitude changed when I photographed the plants with my macro lens! Suddenly they were wild flowers!

Crypthantha (If you hover over each photo, you can read the caption. Click on the photo to see the full size version.)

The Cryptantha is a tiny flower.

Topaz Studio filter applied.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
– Doug Larson –

Common Fiddleneck

Another tiny flower is this Common Fiddleneck.

Topaz Studio filter applied.

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.
– Dave Barry –

Erodium

Erodium – also small.

Topaz Studio Filter – Chevy

Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.
– Author Unknown –

Another small member of the Erodium family.

Topaz Studio HDR Filter

One person’s weed is another person’s wildflower.
– Susan Wittig Albert –

Phacelia

One small member of the Phacelia family.

Topaz Studio Impasto Filter

So many weeds, so little Thyme.
– Author Unknown –

Phacelia

Topaz Studio Filter

California Poppy – there was only one of these plants in the weed patch, but the bright yellow flowers really stood out!

The California Poppy

Topaz Studio Filter

It’s a wildflower if you want it and a weed if you don’t.
– Author Unknown –

Lupin – these are quite common roadside flowers in the spring, but they were few and far between in the weed patch.

The Lupin

Topaz Studio Cathereral Filter

Same Flowers, Other Filters

Phacelia with a Soft Filter

Phacelia with a Sketch Filter

Erodium with a Cartoon Filter

Erodium with a Cartoon Filter

Cryptantha with an Expression Filter

Common Fiddleneck with a Pasterl Filter

California Poppy with a Remix Filter

Lupin with a Ricci Filter

How is your ‘Garden of Weedin’ doing this summer?

‘Rona Virus – Chimps and the Evening News – Hans Rosling TEDTalk

Hans Rosling discusses how Chimps and People differ in answering multiple choice questions. If a group of chimpanzees were given a challenge that had three possible responses, the likelihood is that each one of the responses would be chosen by 33% of the chimps.
That’s not the case with humans. Why? Hans explains how bias affects the answers. Humans watch the evening news. Chimps don’t.

Here are a few ‘Rona Virus questions to test whether you know more than the Chimps do!

First and foremeost: did Corona Beer Sales go up, down, or stay the same?
Answer: Up, then down. “Most consumers understand Corona the brand has nothing to do with corona the virus. Our consumers are very comfortable with the brand and the results speak for themselves.” Unfortunately production was stopped when the Mexican Government closed nonessential services.
– Constellation Brands CEO Bill Newlands –

Does a Thermal Scanner detect Covid or Not?
Answer: This is a kind of a trick question… yes, the scanner detects a fever, which might mean you have Covid. But no, there are many other causes of fever.
– WHO –

 

When you are exercising, should you wear a mask or not?
Answer: We’ve heard much about who, why, when and how we should wear masks – but should we wear a mask when we are exercising?

“People should NOT wear masks when exercising, as masks may reduce the ability to breathe comfortably… instead – maintain physical distance of at least one meter from others.”
– World Health Organization (WHO) –

“People who are engaged in high intensity activities, like running, may not be able to wear a mask if it causes difficulty breathing. If unable to wear a mask, consider conducting the activity in a location with greater ventilation and air exchange (for instance, outdoors versus indoors) and where it is possible to maintain physical distance from others.”
– CDC –

Note: in some parts of the world, like Canada and the United States, the recommended distance is twice the WHO recommendations. Some countries say you should wear a mask during exercise…

The Piano Guys – Michael Meets Mozart

1 Piano, 2 Guys, 100 Cello Tracks

On the recording, Steven Sharp Nelson laid down over 100 tracks including cello textures never known possible. Every single sound on the video was made using only the instruments shown: piano, cello, mouth percussion and kick drum. We utilized some cool effects on lots of stuff…for example the U2-style delay on Steve’s pizzicato at the beginning.
– The Piano Guys – Michael Meets Mozart –

These quotes by Mozart are as applicable today as they were back then:

How sad it is that these great gentlemen should believe what anyone tells them and do not choose to judge for themselves! But it is always so.
– Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart –

All I insist on, and nothing else, is that you should show the whole world that you are not afraid. Be silent, if you choose; but when it is necessary, speak—and speak in such a way that people will remember it.
– Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart –

To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.
– Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart –

Africa – Angel City Chorale

So many good words

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

All Laced Up

Did you know there was this many different ways to lace your shoes?

Thoughts About Food and Eating

Of all the utensils invented to eat rice, how did two sticks win?

Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap – because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

A real Piano Bar

For anybody else that’s getting coal for Christmas, maybe we can link up and get the grill going or something.

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5K on holiday mornings.

Animal Stories

How to catch cats: First – put out a box…

Ignorance, Knowledge, Science

There are three levels of ignorance. Simple ignorance is just not knowing and knowing you don’t know. Compound ignorance is thinking you know but knowing so little you can’t recognize your own ignorance. Tertiary malignant ignorance is then not knowing, thinking you do know and that, for their own good, others should be forced to conform to what you believe.
– quadrant.org.au; opinion-knowing-dont-know –

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house.
– Henri Poincare –

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Last but not least:

Husbands of Target and IKEA – Dude Dad

Every man needs a wife. Many things go wrong that can’t be blamed on government.
– E.C. McKenzie –

Every day millions of husbands are left unattended in Target parking lots. We are now starting a Husbands of Target movement to band together. Join us, we have beef jerky.
– Dude Dad YouTube Channel –

Every time my wife and I go to Ikea its the same thing… lots and lots of waiting, trying to find her, and arguing about dumb stuff. Love you babe!
– Dude Dad –

Dude Dad is Taylor Calmus, a Los Angeles based actor/comedian. Also featured are Charlie Berens, The Holderness Family, and You Betcha.

I’ve collected many funny quotes about husbands and wives:  Love and Marriage

‘Rona Virus – Disinfecting Wipe Performance – Coronavirus Etude

This is perhaps the most inspired (and funny) example of the creativity that has been inspired by the Coronavirus (which in this case could be called the Wuhan Flu because that sounds much more ‘highbrow’!) The Composer, arranger and pianist is Jeff DePaoli. The Sheet Music is available at SheetMusicPlus.