Tom Swifties Quotations #2

A ‘Tom Swifty’ is a play on words. It usually starts with a quotation, followed by an adverb that describes how Tom was speaking. (For more Tom Swifties, and a brief history of this type of parody, see Tom Swifties Quotations #1.

“Blow on the fire so it doesn’t go out,” Tom bellowed.

“Company should be here in about an hour,” Tom guessed.

“Dawn came too soon,” Tom mourned.

“I couldn’t believe we lost the election by two votes,” Tom recounted.

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

“I suppose there’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

“It’s made the grass wet,” said Tom after due consideration.

“I used to own that gold mine,” Tom exclaimed.

“I’ve had my left and right ventricles removed,” Tom said half-heartedly.

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

“Measure twice before you cut,” Tom remarked.

“My hair’s been cut off,” Tom said distressfully.

“Please put some folds in these trousers,” Tom pleaded.

“Thanks for shredding the cheese,” Tom said gratefully.

“That’s no purebred,” Tom muttered.

“Where did you get this meat?” Tom asked hoarsely.

“We’ve taken over the government,” Tom cooed.

“You dropped a stitch,” Tom needled.

“You look like a goat,” Tom kidded.

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