A Grandma’s Guide to Personal Pronouns

(n.) A noun that has lost its amateur status.

The English language has (or had) two gender-specific subject pronouns: she and he – and the gender-neutral they.  (These become her, hers, herself; him, his, himself; them, their, theirs, themself when used as other parts of speech.)

Now, according to LGBTQ Nation, (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) there are thirteen additional subject pronouns – and possibly more because people keep adding new ones. If that isn’t confusing enough, some people use a different set of pronouns (rolling pronouns) depending on how they identify that day.

It is trendy (virtue signalling in some cases, perhaps) for people to add their preferred third person pronouns (ce, co, cy, ey, he, hey, ne, qui, she, sie, tey, they, xe, xie, yo, ze, ve – etc) – either after their name in correspondence or orally if in person. While I respect their intent, it isn’t information I would need at the time, because if I was corresponding with that person, or speaking to them,  I would  use the pronoun you (your, yours).

While I certainly don’t want to be offensive, it is a virtual certainty that if I had to use the new preferred pronouns to refer to someone in a third person circumstance, I would fail.

When English Majors marry the Minister says:
I now pronouns you he and she.
– BIZARRO Comics –

I call everyone dude. Don’t get offended because it doesn’t fit with your gender pronouns. My dog is dude. My mom is dude. My brother is dude. Everyone is dude.
– whisper –

If you’re under 5’5″, your pronouns are
If you are tall, your pronouns are
– c.sinclair tweet –

What’s a chocolate bars preferred gender pronoun?

That’s an alien. I just saw an alien. Not just an alien ship. An alien being. I mean- just his claw- er… hand. But yeah.
Well, I say “his hand”, but maybe it’s her hand. Or some other pronoun I don’t have a word for. They might have seventeen biological sexes, for all I know. Or none. No one ever talks about the really hard parts of first contact with intelligent alien life: pronouns. I’m going to go with “he” for now, because it just seems rude to call a thinking being “it.”
Also, until I hear otherwise, his name is Rocky.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary –

18 thoughts on “A Grandma’s Guide to Personal Pronouns

  1. Thanks for calling attention to the ridiculousness of this gender thing. In 1000 years, archaeologists will still identify these wokies by what they are..either male or female.


    1. While I understand why people must be free to express their gender preferences without fear of condemnation, there will likely be much social confusion before the dust settles. Happily, about 98% or more of any population self-identifies with the sex they were born with.


    1. I have troubles remembering names and even faces sometimes! I’ve never met someone who is offended because of my name/face ‘disability’. Hopefully people will not be offended when others can’t remember their preferred pronoun.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I roll my eyes about pronouns. Never would I ever have guessed that in my lifetime the lowly pronoun, country cousin on nouns, would become such a big deal. I figure I use the ones I like, you use the ones you like, life goes on.


  3. I have always been pro nouns but those pronouns have been running wild and loving the attention they are getting!


  4. Your post itself is as entertaining as the subject matter behind it, Margy. I only recently saw my first signature block with the additional line of “she/her”, to which I thought, “huh”? Maybe “huh” should be a pronoun too, because it’s how I seem to respond to anyone who’s not obviously a “he” or a “she”.


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