Category Archives: Quippery

Ronald Reagan Quotations

Accepting a government grant with its accompanying rules is like marrying a girl and finding out her entire family is moving in with you before the honeymoon. Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had […]
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Tricky Questions to Test Your Reasoning Skills

Test your mental mettle! Here are some ‘trick’ questions to see if you are thinking ‘outside the box’! *********************** A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat *********************** A doctor give you 3 pills and tells you to take one […]
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Steven Wright Quotations

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘Up Over’? Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film. Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won’t […]
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Marine Life Quotations

Fish It is much better to eat little fish like sardines directly from the ocean, rather than after they have been filtered through a larger predator. – Deep Sea News – If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow. – Author Unknown – The codfish lays ten thousand eggs, The homely hen […]
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Sun, Stars and Moon Quotations

From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the Moon. It’s not a miracle; we just decided to go. – Tom Hanks- I count myself lucky, having long ago won a lottery paid to me in seven sunrises a week for life. – Robert Brault – I like that time […]
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Retirement Quotations

After investing as much as possible over the past 25 years, I think it’s time to rollover my retirement fund into pizza and a movie. – Randy Glasbergen cartoon – A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. – Ella Harris – Dog to man: Now that you’re retired, you can finally do fun […]
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Military Quotations

Britain has invented a new missile. It’s called the civil servant – it doesn’t work and it can’t be fired. – General Sir Walter Walker – Friendly fire – isn’t. – Author Unknown – Have you ever stopped to ponder the amount of blood spilled, the volume of tears shed, the degree of pain and […]
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The Best of Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012) was an American journalist, writer, and filmmaker. She is best known for romantic comedy films such as ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. Prior to her death she made a list called ‘What I Won’t Miss’. This included dry skin, email, dead flowers, the […]
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Refrigerator Quotations

A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your partner. Simply remount the door on the other side after his 10th can of lager and he won’t be able to figure out how to open it before the commercial break finishes.” ― […]
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Television Quotations

Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste. – Tom Lehrer – Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television’s message has always […]
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