Four on Friday – Winter and Labs (Videos)

Had Enough of Winter Yet?

Dear Mother Nature,
Having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel the remainder of my subscription. Thank you.
– Author Unknown –

As I’ve previously mentioned, we’re still in Alberta ‘enjoying’ our first full cold and snow winter in about 8 years. Though we would prefer to be in warm sunny Arizona, many factors convinced us to stay home rather than fly south, then home weeks later. This included Canada’s recent new rule that anyone who is allowed to fly into Canada will have to present proof of a negative Covid test taken in the previous 72 hours; then they will be required to stay in a ‘detention’ hotel for up to three days, at their own expense, until such time as another Covid test says they are still negative. Then they will be allowed to go home for the remainder of a 2 week quarantine where security officers may pop by to make sure they are where they are supposed to be. Last, but not least, another Covid test must be done on day 10 of home incarceration.

Our Prime Minister is showing how super tough he is when it comes to Covid! I guess that is to make up for the fact that his government failed to procure very much vaccine and Canada is now 45th in the world in terms of doses per 100 people administered. (The UK is 4th, USA is 5th.)

On the lighter side of winter life, here is #DudeDad and #CharlieBerens to tell you How to train for winter!

How Other Countries are Coping During the Pandemic

Back to the theme of fitness:

My favourite labs, Olive and Mabel are urged to join the gym that Andrew Cotter has built in his garage.

Quotes of the Day

The first thing you should know about me is that I’m not you. A lot more will make sense after that.
-Author Unknown –

The three hardest things to say are:
1. I was wrong
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire Sauce
– Author Unknown –

Four on Friday – Doors, Ghosts Cats in Boxes (Video)

Does the cat in the middle box, top row, remind you of anyone you know?

Do you have a cat that is always looking for trouble?

For more quotes/jokes with a twist at the end, see my post called Ambused by the Best Paraprosdokians

Do you have a duvet on your bed, or do you use blankets? We have duvets here at the Red House. We use two single duvets on our bed, instead of one big one. No more waking up cold because a shared duvet has migrated to the other person’s side of the bed!

A ‘better’ duvet cover is the kind that has a set of stringy things sewn onto the inside of each corner. The easiest way to insert the duvet in this type of cover, then, is to turn the duvet cover inside out and lay it on the bed. Lay the duvet on top of the cover. Tie the duvet corner strings to the duvet. Then turn the cover right side out.

I don’t have duvet covers with those strings. I have a sewing machine, I have strings, yet it is a sewing task I’ve never got around to doing. Instead, I use the ‘almost crawl inside the cover to try to match the corners’. How does the laundry/bed maker domestic engineer in your house do this task?

I just started a new band called ‘Blankets and Duvets’
We’ve already been called the best cover band of all time.
Author Unknown

Pundemic Groaners and Other Funny Thoughts

2020 has answered the question “Hank why do ya drink?”

Anyone else’s car getting three weeks to the gallon now?

At this point I would feel safer if the Coronavirus held a press conference to tell us how it’s going to save us from the government.

Due to my isolation, I finished 3 books yesterday. Believe me—that’s a lot of colouring

Finland as just closed their borders.
No one will be crossing the finish line.

Gwenyth Paltrow said in an interview we should take this time to learn a new language or write a book. I just shook chip crumbs out of my bra and I don’t know what day it is. I’m fairly certain I’m not going to attempt either of those things.

I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell and Purelled my hands cuz I touched the Clorox canister. How far down a rabbit hole does this go?

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it’s not twenty seven.

It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053, when John awoke with a need to go to the bathroom. To John this wasn’t just any ordinary day! This was the day he would open the last package of toilet paper his parents bought in the year 2020.

I see a big baby boom coming our way in 9 months. They will be called the C-19 babies and the #1 baby names will be “Charmin” and “Scott”.

Masks are the NEW bra! They’re uncomfortable, you only wear them in public, and when you don’t wear one, everyone notices.

My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called “Why are you doing it that way?” There are no winners.

Now is not the right time to surround yourself with positive people.

Ran out of toilet paper… having to use lettuce leaves. Today was the tip of the iceberg. Trying to romaine calm.

Snow White is down to 6 dwarfs. Sneezy has been placed in quarantine.

The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them.
All that’s left is de brie.

There will be a minor baby boom in 9 months and then, one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the quaranteens.

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19.
Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and gloves were enough… they lied. Everybody else had clothes on.

What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?
The Wurst Kase scenario.

Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story…

Four on Friday – Bugs, Bees, Bats, Beatles

All bugs are insects, but not all insects are bugs. The Praying Mantis is an insect, but I don’t think it is a bug… but I needed a ‘B’ word for the title of this post…

Bees: “Flight of the Bumblebee” is an piece of music written by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov for his opera The Tale of Tsar Saltan. It was composed in 1899–1900. It evokes the seemingly chaotic and rapidly changing flying pattern of a bumblebee.

Bats: Since no one actually speaks ‘Bat’… In the people world, locating some one by calling out ‘Marco’ and getting the response ‘Polo’ if the person is in hearing distance – I learned this from my grandchildren.

Beatles: At over seven minutes in length, their song “Hey Jude” was the longest single to top the British charts up to that time.

This, That and the Other – Amazon, Time, Invention of Ikea (Video)

THIS:

I, however, am expecting those craft supplies…

If it wasn’t for the delivery guys, our social life would be almost zilch.

The only upside to Covid is that many retailers have made online shopping really easy! We don’t need to drive anywhere, delivery is quick and products are available that aren’t always stocked in the local stores.  What’s not to like!

The King/Queen of online shopping is Amazon. It has more than 2.5 million retailers selling on the Amazon marketplace (according to Marketplacepulse, 2019).

We ventured out last week to buy a new kitchen tap set at Home Depot.  They were out of stock, but we could order online from them. Delivery was in one to three weeks. Amazon had the same product for the same price and it was delivered two days later… though it might take The Car Guy one to three weeks to decide whether he is going to call the plumber to do the install.

THAT:

How did IKEA come up with their business and marketing plan? Dude Dad has this very funny explanation!

THE OTHER:

This ‘Lest We Forget’ admonishment arrived in my Facebook feed a few days after I had put up my Christmas Tree. I’m not really sure how decorating for Christmas implies disrespect for anything, but if that is what some people feel, then they have every right to feel that way…

…and I have every right to do what feels right for me. Hence the tree. Right now it is the brightly lit beacon in the corner of the living room that dispels the late afternoon gloom that came after we changed the clocks.

My previous post about time change was:  Daylight Saving Time.

My Remembrance Day Posts were:
Lest We Forget
Belgium – WWI Memorial – A Brooding Soldier
In Flanders Fields – Canadians in World War One

This was from this past spring. Turns out that 4 months wasn’t forward enough.

Mildly Amusing Missives – Tims, Misc

Memory Foam

A man was lying in bed on his new memory foam mattress. He soon regretted buying it because it spoke to him all night long – “Remember when you wet your pants at the school picnic? Remember when you could sleep until noon? Remember when you didn’t have to count calories?”

Rarities


Sunday Morning Love Story
Sunday morning, except for those week-ends where Saturday morning is declared virtual Sunday because real Sunday morning is otherwise occupied… The Car Guy goes to Tim Hortons and buys us each a Breakfast Sandwich and beverages – Coffee (light roast with 2 milks) for him and a small Tim’s Iced Capp Light for me.

Friends don’t let friends drink Starbucks.
-Tim Hortons T-shirt –

If you can tell people you’re at Timmy’s and they don’t ask ‘Timmy Who?’, then you might be a Canadian.

Laundry Day

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “Texas A&M”.

Cat Tales or Tails

The cat sitting at the keyboard of the computer explains to the cat watching: “So far I’ve discovered I was in a litter of eight and my mother’s name was Fluffy!”
– Author Unknown – comment about Genealogy Research –

Tupperware? More like Tupper-where-is-the-freakin’-lid?
– Aunty Acid –

Oh, You Mean Real Red Flags…

Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.

Have you been to Meteor Crater in Arizona? It is the world’s best preserved meteorite impact site – the result of a collision that rocked the American Southwest approximately 50,000 years ago. It is about one mile across, 2.4 miles in circumference and more than 550 feet deep. The object that created the crater was a nickel-iron meteorite about 160 ft (50 meters) across.

Chimps and the Evening News (‘Rona #26) – Hans Rosling TEDTalk (Video)

Hans Rosling discusses how Chimps and People differ in answering multiple choice questions. If a group of chimpanzees were given a challenge that had three possible responses, the likelihood is that each one of the responses would be chosen by 33% of the chimps.
That’s not the case with humans. Why? Hans explains how bias affects the answers. Humans watch the evening news. Chimps don’t.

Here are a few ‘Rona Virus questions to test whether you know more than the Chimps do!

First and foremeost: did Corona Beer Sales go up, down, or stay the same?
Answer: Up, then down. “Most consumers understand Corona the brand has nothing to do with corona the virus. Our consumers are very comfortable with the brand and the results speak for themselves.” Unfortunately production was stopped when the Mexican Government closed nonessential services.
– Constellation Brands CEO Bill Newlands –


Does a Thermal Scanner detect Covid or Not?
Answer: This is a kind of a trick question… yes, the scanner detects a fever, which might mean you have Covid. But no, there are many other causes of fever.
– WHO –

 

When you are exercising, should you wear a mask or not?
Answer: We’ve heard much about who, why, when and how we should wear masks – but should we wear a mask when we are exercising?

“People should NOT wear masks when exercising, as masks may reduce the ability to breathe comfortably… instead – maintain physical distance of at least one meter from others.”
– World Health Organization (WHO) –

“People who are engaged in high intensity activities, like running, may not be able to wear a mask if it causes difficulty breathing. If unable to wear a mask, consider conducting the activity in a location with greater ventilation and air exchange (for instance, outdoors versus indoors) and where it is possible to maintain physical distance from others.”
– CDC –

Note: in some parts of the world, like Canada and the United States, the recommended distance is twice the WHO recommendations. Some countries say you should wear a mask during exercise…

Well of Lost Thoughts 2019 – Africa – Angel City Chorale (Video)

When I find ideas that speak to me, but I’m not ready to blog about them, I save them on my Fueled by Chocolate Facebook Page. Here are just a few of the ones I have ‘rescued’ from there to share with you… all from 2019. I’m running about 7 months late on doing this post.

So many good words

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

All Laced Up

Did you know there was this many different ways to lace your shoes?

Thoughts About Food and Eating

Of all the utensils invented to eat rice, how did two sticks win?

Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap – because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

A real Piano Bar

For anybody else that’s getting coal for Christmas, maybe we can link up and get the grill going or something.

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5K on holiday mornings.

Animal Stories

How to catch cats: First – put out a box…

Ignorance, Knowledge, Science

There are three levels of ignorance. Simple ignorance is just not knowing and knowing you don’t know. Compound ignorance is thinking you know but knowing so little you can’t recognize your own ignorance. Tertiary malignant ignorance is then not knowing, thinking you do know and that, for their own good, others should be forced to conform to what you believe.
– quadrant.org.au; opinion-knowing-dont-know –

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house.
– Henri Poincare –

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Last but not least:

Going the Distance (‘Rona #24)

We’re All in This Together – but in an Apples to Oranges kind of way. Just look at Social Distancing regulations!

WHO (the World Health Organization),  China, Denmark, Hong Kong, and Singapore – 1 metre or 3 feet apart.
Australia, Belgium, Germany, Greece, Italy, Netherlands, Portugal and Spain – 1.5 metres.
USA – CDC says 6 feet or 2 meters. Canada, New Zealand and the UK – 2 metres.

Face Masks: There are countries who have a long standing face mask culture, and countries that don’t. In Japan, “The wearing of cloth or paper “sickness masks” while healthy and in public has become such a standard practice in Japan that in average years, the nation manufactures 4.3 billion face masks for personal use. … “sickness masks” have morphed into a trendsetting statement worn by celebrities and fashionistas. – National Review –

In other countries, surgical quality face masks are in short supply. The manufacture of hand made cloth face-masks has become a vibrant cottage industry (and a trendsetting statement.)

The Second Leg of the Cornonavirus Triple Crown (Warning – one swear word)

Should We Open our Community?

This gem was in my email inbox – what the medical people have concluded:
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it,
but the Dermatologists  advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it,
but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception,
while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea farsighted.
Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”.
while the Pediatricians said, “Let’s grow up!”
Psychiatrists  thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists  could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing
and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,
but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas,
and those lofty Cardiologists  didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out by suggesting that we leave the entire decision up to the assholes in Government.

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
– Edmund Burke –

Social scientists have found that when confronted with either an enormous threat or a huge reward, people tend to focus on the magnitude of the consequence and ignore the probability.
– The Politics of Fear, Al Gore, CBS News –

I have a second Part to my blog. For now it is called The Truth Fairy. It is the home for all things (mostly issues) that I’ve researched.

If it leans politically, it is way right of the far left, and way left of the far right.

If you choose to leave a comment, I understand that we may have a difference of opinion. That is okay with me, because what our world needs right now is the free flow of thoughts and ideas to counter the movement that tries to restrict free speech. Mass and social media has done more to damage our relationships with people ‘not just like us’ than anyone realizes.