there is a simple. explanation. for why I look like my head. is stuck. in a box: my head IS stuck in a box
but there is a simple. explanation for how. that happened, I was checking. to see if it was true that. all the biscuits were gone.
and even if they were all gone. maybe there were crumbs. that had to be eaten before the box got. recycled. it was a very deep box and when I. couldn’t reach the bottom with my tongue I stuck my head in. just a bit farther then I was stuck.
the two leggers didn’t laugh they didn’t even take a picture they. just pulled the box. off. but here’s the thing, the box was talking to me it was saying. there really are some crumbs stuck. in the very bottom of the box so I put my head in. again. and got stuck again.
apparently that is when the picture. was taken and if the two leggers hadn’t taken the box off my head. and put it out of my reach. there is no doubt I would have got stuck. a third time.
somedays i am a shop dog i am into, woodworking as you can see i custom. craft small logs i debark and shape, i am like a planer and a sander and a drill all in one. it is hard work all i ask in return, is some biscuits and peanut butter. and a walk preferably in the ditch not on the road and a clean. bowl of water with no. dead flies in it!!!
two-legs who i live with and two-legs car guy are doing. woodworking, too they are making wood boxes. with bows and ribbons. made of wood they use lots of tools but best. of all is all the sawdust. they make then i lie in it. and roll in it
two-legs who i live with named her wood things website. after me The Rustic Ghost. she isn’t selling. any of my sticks they are priceless. i think but also hard to find. when i am done i hide them or two-legs gamma puts them. in the chipper pile she thinks i don’t know she does that. but i know
two-legs gamma gives me a biscuit. after our walk in the ditch. she makes me lie down. and stay then she breaks the biscuit. into three or four pieces and hides them, around the shop then i look for them which. is hard because i didn’t see where she. put them and the biscuits don’t have any smell or maybe, they do smell but it is the same as sawdust which. is mostly what the whole shop, smells of.
if you want to see, the other things i’ve written or things that have been written. about me just go here gHosT Dog. i’m done this story so two-leg gamma will finish things up:
A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
– Robert Benchley –
Every snack you make,
Every meal you bake,
Every bite you take…
I’ll be watching you.
– Unknown Dog –
Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
– Author Unknown –
If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
— Phil Pastoret –
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
— Joe Weinstein –
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx –
The Car Guy informs me that it cost him just over $200 to put fuel in his truck this week. That’s the bad news. The good news is that he can make about 80 trips to the lumber store before he has to refuel again.
Are You Listening… or Waiting to Talk?
It took my husband less than a minute to tell me about the cost of gasoline. It will take me over 20 minutes to write this post about gasoline (and other things), which is why I think this next visual is true!
I Like the Bunny Slippers
Dress like you own the bank. Not like you need a loan from it.
— Louis Raphael –
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
—Mark Twain –
If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?
– Linda Ellerbee –
The Jumbo Jet
Do you know why the Boeing 747 (the Jumbo Jet) has that hump on the top? Apparently Boeing felt the 747 would be quickly rendered obsolete as a passenger carrier, so they designed the plane so that it could be converted into a freighter. A cockpit up in the hump would make the conversion easier.
This, and so many other interesting facts can be found in Bill Bryson’s book, ‘Made in America – An Informal History of the English Language in the United States’. Though it was written in 1994, many of Bryson’s observations about social and cultural change read like current events. His writing is, as usual, peppered with wry humour.
Until 1916, New Hampshire had a stream called the Quohquinapassakessamanagnog, but then the cheerless bureaucrats at the Board on Geographic Names in Washington, D.C., arbitrarily changed it to Beaver Creek.
― Bill Bryson, Made in America –
The Cone of Uncomfort
The Grand-dog, Ghost, had to have a lump removed from her leg. She was spared the ‘white plastic cone of misery’ because of the mental anguish it causes her. It renders her immobile – so while it stops the licking, it stops her from doing anything else too. She just stands there.
The vet put a flexible cone on but it was too small – it didn’t prevent Ghost from investigating her owie. Fortunately the bandage did the job.
if you have been visiting. this blog for a while, you will know that my name is gHosT (the dog). i am the blog owners grand-dog. it has been a while. since I told you one of my stories.
you might remember that I sometimes have a small problem. with authority. i’ve had a few slight transgressions. in the past.
on the whole i’m fairly well behaved now. when I am at my own house. if company doesn’t come to visit. and I’m dog tired from a long walk.
when I go to the Grandma’s house. well, let’s just say it will be a long time before they let me walk off leash again. grandma lives in the country. in a forest. with so many interesting smells. and wild animal trails to follow. the last time I was there. i just had to investigate one of these trails. i was half way across the farmer’s field. before it occurred to me. that I was an unaccompanied minor dog. someone was calling my name. and they weren’t sounding all that pleasant.
the reason I’m here today. is that the grandma dog is into this craft she calls ‘literary origami’. it is really just book page folding. if grandma gave me the book. i could alter it in far more interesting ways. than she does. i would call it a ‘literary lunch’. i’m sure a book would be good. for many minutes of mutilation. before i finally just ate it.
grandma folded a book for my family. it is a dog’s paw print. sort of. that’s all I’m going to say. except it doesn’t look much like my paw print. at least I don’t think it does. but as you can see from the photo above. i see my feet from the top. i don’t spend much time. looking at the underside of my paw. one thing I’m sure of though. my paw isn’t wide like that. it just isn’t.
i didn’t tell grandma that though. i’ve learned that you don’t mess with Grandma. you should have been there to hear. the scolding I got after I finally returned. from the trek across the farmer’s field. you’d think she would have praised me. for finally coming back…
anyway, here’s Grandmas folded book paw print. she will tell you how to make it in her next post in a few days. if you want to read more about me, click on the tag below. with my name in it. gHosT.
the grandma usually ends her posts by asking you a question. i’m going to do that too. maybe you can give me some advice.
if I should ever come across an unguarded book. should I start with the front. and digest it that way. or should I start at the back. and eat the ending first?
A Special Report from our ‘Rover’ reporter, Ghost the Dog:
this photo shows me thinking. it might look like sleeping. but you can see I have one eye open. i do my best thinking. when I’m in ‘landscape mode’. what better place to stretch out. than on a people couch!
right now, I’m thinking about what the gramma dog (owner of this blog but not owner of me) meant. she told me politicians are sometimes kind of whackadoodle. it’s an election year and gramma dog tells me all sorts of things. when we go for a walk. i don’t think anyone else. wants to listen to her anymore. a wackadoodle. all i’ve come up with so far is that it must be a kind of poodle cross. that I’ve not seen at the dog park.
i’m not that impressed with poodles, really. our ancestor was a prehistoric wolf! i see a lot of wolf in me. but a poodle – well let’s just say they developed. along a branch that should have been lopped off. before it got as far as it did.
the gramma dog tells me that because I am a dog. i don’t see as many colours as some people. i don’t really remember. what issue we were discussing. when we got onto this topic. i’m red-green colour blind. grandpa car guy is colour blind too. so we have that in common.
when I visit their house i am the shop dog. i don’t get to go into the house. i thought when I quit piddling a lot, i might get a house pass. sadly no. the Grandma dog says if I could leave my coat outside. she’d let me in. i shed a lot… plus, she says I can’t chew sticks in the house. and I can’t knock stuff off shelves with my tail. that would be a lot to give up. just to see if her couch is comfortable.
that’s if for now. i really have to go to sleep. but if you want to read more about me, click on the tag below. with my name in it. gHosT.
hi again. my name is gHosT. i’m this blogger’s daughter’s dog. the last time i ‘blogged’. i was back in puppy classes again. i think they went rather well. for my owners. i wasn’t as impressed. because apparently I am going to have to get used to. ‘coming when I’m called’. and all sorts of other limits on absolute freedom.
freedom to do what I want. case in point. is this ‘incident’ from before puppy classes. i had a sleep-over at the aunt’s house. the whole family was playing cards. on this flat topped piece of wood that looked like the floor. they called it a ‘table’. but i didn’t have one of those at my house yet. so how was I to know that it was off limits to me!?
i thought it would be okay. if I joined the card game. so with a speed that surprised even me. i unlocked, launched and landed. right onto the middle of the table. then I settled down to wait. for whatever might happen next.
for a minute, auntie and the family had that look on their faces. that people get when something unexpected happens. even though that unexpected thing. was within the realm of possibilities. of what a free spirited puppy might do if it is… curious.
later, when Auntie was asked why she didn’t immediately scoot me down off the table. she explained, “it was like watching a train wreck. suddenly there was a dog in the middle of the table. we could either get the dog off the table. or we could all get our phones out and take pictures of the ‘damage’…”
For more stories about me, click the the tag below. that has my name in it. gHosT. now you see me on the floor. now you see me on the table. now you see me in the dog house… again…
my name is gHosT. i am this blogger’s grand-doggie. i’m still a puppy. a really big puppy.
the two-leggers take me to car shows. when we aren’t looking at cars. they tie me to the bumper. of their mustang. then they give me a stick.
i chew the stick. while I think about pulling the bumper. right off the car. i think I could do that. if I really wanted to.
it is one thing to think i could do it. it is another thing to think what what would happen. if I did do it… treats and tummy rubs. might be in short supply. for a while.
last week I forgot. i was attached to the smaller of the two-leggers. i pulled on the leash too hard. the two-legger tipped turtle. she scraped her knee. no treats and tummy rubs. for the rest of the morning.
when I’m older. maybe the scent of a rabbit won’t make me forget. what i’m supposed to do. maybe i will have control over what my nose. tells me to do.
I used to look at Smokey and think, “If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,” and he’d look at me like he was saying, “If you were a little smarter, I wouldn’t have to.”
– Fred Jungclaus –
Puppy Faces Today – our Daughter and her Husband got a dog!
Puppy Faces Before the Dog Came Along:
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
– Winnie the Pooh (by A.A. Milne) –
Six years ago I wrote a post called A Perfect Storm – The Motorcycle Accident. It was the story of the day (Friday, July 13!) that The Car Guy and the Harley abruptly parted company – both landing in a farmer’s field, both with considerable damage.
I reread that post yesterday. I also reread all the comments left on posts then and after the event – words of encouragement, concern and prayers for a speedy recovery! Thanks again, from the bottom of my Canadian heart, to all these kind bloggers who reached out to me during those dark days:
Some of these writers are still blogging! Some have ‘ceased blogging operations’ and moved on. The ‘ceased’ bloggers – some left a farewell message; some just packed up (I envision it as happening on a dark and stormy night) and disappeared, leaving us all to wonder what they moved on to, or if they are actually ‘deceased’!
Now, for the update on The Car Guy. There were certainly some interesting and amusing moments during his recovery from a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). For the first few months, he was unable to retain memories, but more spectacularly – sometimes he saw people that the rest of us couldn’t see!
One afternoon he woke up after a nap in the Guest Room at the Cabin and announced there were puppy faces on the ceiling over the bed. This was a new hallucination. He insisted I come and look. We stretched out on the bed and looked up at the wood paneled ceiling.
“See – there.” He pointed at the wood grain knots and swirls. “Two eyes and a nose. And over there. Two eyes, a nose and ears. And another one over there!”
Relief – yes, I could see puppy faces in the knots and swirls too! Then – I thought about all the people who had slept in that bed, but had never mentioned seeing puppy faces! It takes a certain freedom of thought, I guess, to see things like that.
I think of those puppy faces when I read the news. Much of Mainstream Media (MMM) has the single goal of telling you what you should think. Often their message is biased and designed to create fear. They want you to only see what they see in their knots and swirls.
Fortunately, there are many Not Really Mainstream Media (NRMMM) sources of positive messages that encourage the grand diversity of human thought. They encourage you to look beyond the knots and swirls for the other messages.
We recently became ‘Grandparents’ to a puppy, though the term ‘puppy’ seems odd for a dog that never was very small and is growing really quickly. Our daughter and her husband are taking their puppy, Ghost, to puppy classes and are making good progress in establishing themselves as the ‘Alpha Dogs’! This training is quickly forgotten, however, in the excitement of a day here at our rural Red House. We joke that I am so far down in the dog’s ‘hierarchy of obedience’ alphabet that I am the ‘Gamma Dog’.
“so many smells. i wonder if any of them are dog approved food. ‘alpha dog lady’ didn’t like the dead gopher. i found here last week.”
“sniffing, running, digging, rolling. i need. a bowl of water!”